im feeling very open right now so... Options

[JCLore]

sorry this is so long but if you dont know all
you wont understand completely

I spent most of my childhood trying to blend in with people
i've constantly changed my appearence and personality to fit in
but i've never been successful in making a good true friend
i've had a best friend at points but it lasts about 2 years and then its over

i was a loner at the end of year 8
nobody wanted to talk to me or anything
in year 9 i started home education
which meant i had no contact with any other beings but family
im now in year 11 going 12
and all i have is online friends
and even those are few

i joined the Australian Air Force Cadets a while back
but all the people in the recruit area are 3 years younger than me
there fun and good friends but i think i need to make friends my age

im now going to a youth group and enjoying it
my closest cousin "Desiree" goes and has helped by introducing me to her friends
there great and my age and older, which is a bonus
i went to school with one of them but he hates me i think

My main point is that i feel intrusive into desirees life and i hate making people feel uncomfortable
any advice on what i should do would be greatly appreciated??

[JCLore]

i look at there relationship with my cousin
and each other
and thats really what i want
sound selfish i know