Lost.. Options

[dpl313]

So with the New Year coming I've sat up and got some goals together for the new year, and looked back at this year. There's one thing that's been messing with me more and more lately. My adventures with dating.

Ever since I got interested in dating I have got hurt a lot. When it comes to getting hurt in dating I have some stories to tell. No exaggeration on that. But year after year I try to keep telling myself that things will get better, and I try to downplay the negative things by thinking positive. I do my best to be myself. I'm a nice guy. I don't let people walk over me nice, but the type of guy who does volunteer work, holds the door open for people, etc.

But especially after this year I finally realized. My luck with dating is not getting better!!! I look at my guy friends around me, and I watch what they do. I notice they are the opposite of me when it comes to dating. They are players, nymphomaniacs, and complete pricks to the girls they talk to. Sad thing is the girls they talk to keep coming back to them, and stick around them strongly!

I talked to my friends about this and they said, "I shouldn't be so picky. Just go out have some fun, have sex, and have a you don't care attitude." About being picky. I get girls that drop subtle hints for sex at times and I turn them down. I turn them down, because I'm not into flings or stuff like that. I'm still a virgin, and I just want to lose it to the right girl. Or I have a girl that shows interest in me every blue moon , but usually the girls that show interest in me weird me out for one reason or another.

My friends also said, "stop trying to find the right girl and find someone." When it comes to dating for me I just want to meet the right person, but it seems that dating these days is only about height, money, what you look like, and not who you are as a person.

My friends also critiqued my confidence by saying I need to be more confident. I'm not shy, but when it comes to talking to certain girls I'll approach them, but as stupid as this sounds. I feel physically timid sometimes. Like my body is holding me back from what I want to say. I don't know how to get past that?

Then if I get interested in any girl? It's always you're a nice guy.. but insert some lame excuse. Most recently I got interested in my friend, but she got with our mutual friend who only wants to f*** her.
Then occasionally I get to know a few nice girls. Then they describe everything they want in a guy, and in some cases they describe me almost to the "T." But when I show interest in the girl she pushes me away.

So I've been wondering is it easier for a 21 yr old male to just be a prick, and be the bad boy type to succeed in dating? I'm sure they're the nice girl types out there who would say just be who you are, etc. But how I am today seems to have me dead last in the dating game. Not what girls and women ideally like, but what do you girls and women realistically go for in a guy?

I hope no one takes this for some depressing rant, because that's not my intent.