Dirty College Girls Options

[Simba]

No, this is not in the wrong forum. This is serious. We're in the midst of a dangerous new trend that has been poisoning the young women of America. Now... I'm not talking about alcohol or drug use, no sir/ma'am, that's not what I'm here to talk about today. I'm here to talk about college girls who dress like they just got out of bed 5 minutes ago.

It is impossible to fully describe the aura of this mystery-beast but I can identify the various and sundry indicators that will allow you to sufficiently identify this species. The first indicator is the pajama bottoms. Sweatpants will also suffice, but something should be written across the butt in collegiate type writing. The second, and more important indicator, is that the hair is carefully unkempt up into a clip of some sort. Fake blond hair is preferable but not essential. The third indicator is the hooded sweatshirt or the increasingly dominant "North Face" fleece. These ladies may be seen wearing fru-fru boots with fur at the top in the winter time.

This particular look is preferable in the late morning or early afternoon. At least through lunch. By late afternoon you may not be able to pull this off unless you have opted for the "North Face" fleece which will get you past dinner, if desired. At night, this breed wears 5 times the normal amount of make-up, black leather boots, black pants, black leather jacket, perfume flying everywhere, lots of shiny jewelry, the whole 9 yards. Did I mention the makeup? Lots of it. Slopped all over.

And so you ask, "What can I do to stop our youth from doing this to themselves?"




Well, my brothers ands sisters, my first thought was violence, but then I realized that this will get you banned from Panera Bread fo' life. However, the REAL answer. . . . . .
































is Jesus. Get these "ho ho hos" to go to church in the morning so they'll have to take care of themselves a little better. You know, put on some nicer clothes and brush their hair and use a reasonable amount of beauty products and what not. That way, they'll be a little more well-kept in public during the day. Problem solved. Religion isn't so useless after all.

[*CowerPointyObjects*]

But we do get out of bed 5 minutes before going to class.

What can't be justified is wearing workout clothing and still doing your hair. Particularly when the clothing involves any combination of shorts, tights, and uggs. God I hate sorority trends.


Panera's really good, though completely irrelevant. I've actually read the whole post now, and your point is absolutely ridiculous.