Should I be concerned? Options

[Ashley_Brook]

I've been with my boyfriend for about 3 months now and everything has been great so far. I have been spending weekends over at his place since. Well we had planned on me coming over this weekend as usual and he sends me a message that reads.

"Ok I don't want you to get mad but my friend Stephanie is going to stay at my house this weekend. I haven't gotten to see or hang out with her in over 2 months and this is the only way she can come here. Her boyfriend is dropping her off on his way to Fort Wayne and then coming back on Sunday. So she's staying the night. I wanted to tell you because I didn't want you to think I was hiding someone behind your back."

Okay, I'm I'm thinking, "Ooookay..." and I sent him a message back saying, "So you don't want me to come over this weekend?" and then his next message was, "Don't you have all next week off work?" and then I replied, "Yes." and then he said, "Well you could stay a few days through the week." I told him that was okay.

Okay so I haven't met this girl yet, but I have heard him talk about how they are friends and have been for a long time. I have been to her myspace and she does have a boyfriend who she seems really into, I convinced myself that it was fine and that I shouldn't be worried, but now I'm wondering. I asked 4 of my other friends about this and they all think it's suspicious that he wants to exclude me out of picture for when she's coming over. They said, "Well if they were just friends, he wouldn't have a problem with you coming over anyways."

So I sent him another message saying, "Would it be cool if I come over this weekend anyways and we could all hang out because next week seems too far away." and now i'm waiting for a response from him.

I just want to know what you all think. Sorry this is long.

[queen]

the situation has just been handled the wrong way. he probably has no intention of cheating on you, and she probably is just a friend with no "benefits". here's my breakdown on it:

1. he did the right thing by telling you first. however, i've known a lot of guys who tell their girlfriends "everything", but the meer action of telling them is actually part of the plan to gain more trust. so just because he told you doesn't mean he doesn't have alterior motives. but it doesn't mean he does either.

2. he may innocently just not want you there for his friend's sake. sure, your presence might make her feel uncomfortable. however, he should have still offered you the invite to meet her. the fact that he didn't might be the one suspicious thing in his actions.

3. she has a boyfriend, and he has you. i'm pretty sure her boyfriend had a bunch of things to say about the situation, but they've worked it out (obviously, since he agreed to her sleeping over). however, you should also have a say in what's going on. if her sleeping over really bothers you that much, then you should be able to let your boyfriend know, and he should be able to compensate. regardless of how important this friend is, you should come first.

i know you trust him. just because you have insecurities doesn't mean you don't trust him. it's all right for girlfriends to feel uncomfortable in this situation. just let him know and talk it through.