How to deal with my boyfriend going to a strip club, Help...! Options

[arianith]

My boyfriend and I have been going out for several months now. We're both in college. He recently told me that he went to a strip club for a friend's birthday this summer (before we started going out). For some reason though, this REALLY bothers me, even thought it was before we started dating.

For one thing I guess it made me feel really insecure about my body.. I mean.. if he's been around a bunch of beautiful naked women (it was a really famous strip club) why would he want me? I'm afraid of being constantly compared with them, even though I know I'm not bad looking. He even got a naked lap dance (in his words: "she had her shoes on"). And in that particular club I know you're allowed to touch (I don't know if he did and I'm afraid to ask). He even told me she took his shirt off and kissed him (sounding pretty pleased about it too). I don't know what to think and I KNOW I shouldn't be this bothered by it, it was before we started going out!! But for some reason I can't stop thinking about it.

I know pretty much all men go at one point and all that but this just won't go away. I keep thinking of him surrounded by naked women and I just get this sick feeling in my stomach. I have tried talking with him about it but it just led to a fight since he (rightly) sees nothing wrong with it. After all, we weren't even dating at the time.

Help!! How do I deal?? (please nothing like "just get over it" I've tried that) How should I think about this to make it bother me less?

[S-Majere]

Actually, I do agree with you, RyanWasHere - if a guy has had past relationships or the like then it's not really suitable to bang on about it to your girlfriend.

There are some real, proper gentlemen out there that would never make you feel, or give you call to feel, insecure or worried about anything.

I'd say if he brings it up again, throw the book at him. Followed by the library - brick by brick