How to deal with my boyfriend going to a strip club, Help...! Options

[arianith]

My boyfriend and I have been going out for several months now. We're both in college. He recently told me that he went to a strip club for a friend's birthday this summer (before we started going out). For some reason though, this REALLY bothers me, even thought it was before we started dating.

For one thing I guess it made me feel really insecure about my body.. I mean.. if he's been around a bunch of beautiful naked women (it was a really famous strip club) why would he want me? I'm afraid of being constantly compared with them, even though I know I'm not bad looking. He even got a naked lap dance (in his words: "she had her shoes on"). And in that particular club I know you're allowed to touch (I don't know if he did and I'm afraid to ask). He even told me she took his shirt off and kissed him (sounding pretty pleased about it too). I don't know what to think and I KNOW I shouldn't be this bothered by it, it was before we started going out!! But for some reason I can't stop thinking about it.

I know pretty much all men go at one point and all that but this just won't go away. I keep thinking of him surrounded by naked women and I just get this sick feeling in my stomach. I have tried talking with him about it but it just led to a fight since he (rightly) sees nothing wrong with it. After all, we weren't even dating at the time.

Help!! How do I deal?? (please nothing like "just get over it" I've tried that) How should I think about this to make it bother me less?

[MissHygienic]

Are you seriously getting worried because your boyfriend IN COLLEGE is trying to have fun with his COLLEGE friends at some strip club? Don't all college boys do this? It's sort of a liberation for what they couldn't do in high school.

What is there to be concerned about? If he's going to run off with a stripper then he wasn't worth it in the first place. Trust me, I'm like 80 percent sure you will have many experiences after him, anyway. Don't get hung up over an incident that happened before you guys were officially dating.

Despite the stereotypes and what you may think, a majority of guys aren't into the boob implants and women who get naked for money. They just act as if they like it because that's what we expect them to do. Be confident about yourself and your body, and he will likely find this to be much more attractive.