Help me please! Options

[runforestrun]

Hey there,

I have a problem and i'm hoping someone can help me; My almost-girlfriend and i were getting along greatly and everything went well after a social formal thing.

but i bumped into an a-hole at my school who started giving me shit saying shes a slut and that she screwed some guy.

this hurt me alot, for someone so innocent i didnt think it was possible, so i asked her on MSN (IM program)"was it true that you f**ked some guy?"

she replied with "i dont want to talk about that, especially on msn"

ever since then shes been withdrawn, whilst ive been ringing and talking to her for the past few days and everything seems fine...she never got back to answering the question...i felt so awful, if it was true i would want to know if it was before she took a liking to me or DURING it.

i dont know, this has been bugging me so much...i get these pains in my heart everynow and then, it seems everything is slowing down...

X

[Uronacid]

Hey there,

I have a problem and i'm hoping someone can help me; My almost-girlfriend and i were getting along greatly and everything went well after a social formal thing.

but i bumped into an a-hole at my school who started giving me shit saying shes a slut and that she screwed some guy.

this hurt me alot, for someone so innocent i didnt think it was possible, so i asked her on MSN (IM program)"was it true that you f**ked some guy?"

she replied with "i dont want to talk about that, especially on msn"

ever since then shes been withdrawn, whilst ive been ringing and talking to her for the past few days and everything seems fine...she never got back to answering the question...i felt so awful, if it was true i would want to know if it was before she took a liking to me or DURING it.

i dont know, this has been bugging me so much...i get these pains in my heart everynow and then, it seems everything is slowing down...

X

Look, one thing you have to realize is that people make mistakes. Her having sex with another guy before you knew her or she knew you has nothing to do with how much she likes you now. People make mistakes, and you're going to have to learn to look past them. When she had sex with him, it had nothing to do with you or how she felt about.

What if she had sex with you because she liked you? Would it be any different then? Me and my girlfriend have had sex, does that make her a slut? Definitely not, and if you called her that I'd probably fly to your house and kick your ass. I had sex with someone before I met my girlfriend. Look past the fact that she had sex before she knew you, it doesn't make her time with you any less special, and you dwelling on it in a negative aspect will only drive your relationship with her into the dirt.

If you just can't seem to get it off your mind, you probably need to talk about it with her just to get it out of your mind. I would suggest this only as a last resort. Anyway, when you believe the time is right, confront her. Tell her there is something on your mind, and when she's in a listening mode I would suggest saying something like this:

"Look, this girl I know told me you were a slut because you had sex with some guy before you met me. Now, I don't want to think that about you because I like you a lot. I have known you for a while now, and I don't think you're the type of person that sleeps around. Bottom line is, I just can get this off my mind, It hurts a lot to think that about you. I really like you, and rather than thinking all these things that probably aren't true anyways I would rather hear about what happened from you so I can stop thinking about it and we can keep being friends or maybe even more. I like you, and I just don't want something stupid to come between us."