Something on the serious side. Options

[xtwitchyx]

Earlier this year I had lost my dad to a heartattack and pretty much watched him die right at home before the ambulance got here. I just wanted to know if anyone here ever lost someone and how did you handle it?

The holidays are coming up and I kind of dread them. Other days I think things will be fine for the holidays. I don't really get sad about it as much anymore. It's just... My Birthday is coming up and this will be the first Birthday of mine without him here. Then there's the first Thanksgiving and the first Christmas without my dad being here. It seems like the thought of it all will be really really weird. Then other times it seems more like things will still in a way be normal. I don't know, I'll just be really glad when this year is over with. But then next year I'll have to meet the day he passed right away. (It happened in January.) I feel weird about that. Like I'm not sure what I'll do on that day. I don't want to mope because I've found that I don't have anything left to mope about. It all just seems like it's going to feel weird with a mix of that it will all just feel normal in some small way. Sorry if none of this really makes much sense, but it's just what has been going through my mind lately and sometimes I feel better if I can talk to complete strangers about it.

[*jeanna*]

i couldn't imagine losing my dad since i spend basically all my time with him.
i lost my grandma i use to see every holiday back in 2001 but it still feels like it happened yesterday, it's weird.

she died from cancer of the esophagus caused by second hand smoke.
i really hate thanksgiving and christmas the most now.

and it is a lot better and helps if you can talk about them to anyone.