Agnosticism Discussion Options

[xblast196]

I'm agnostic in my beliefs about god and all that, but my friends seem less than convinced.

my christian friends try to convert me,
my athiest friends try to convince me further,
and my other agnostic friends are the same way.

quite frankly, we're stumped.


if you dont know what agnosticism is-

basically it says that we would believe in god if there was more proof. we arent denying there is a god, but simply put- there's more evidence basing all of the scientific theroies as opposed to the bible- so we tend to believe in science over god.

[libertie]

I'm very upset, because I just typed out a very long response to this topic and somehow it was suddenly gone before I could finish. Here's my second attempt, which will not be nearly as good as the first.

Anyway, I had this discussion once with Nate in CBC. It seems to be a favorite of his, because I remember reading a LJ post he wrote on it a while back. The conversation started with me saying I don't claim to be a Christian because if I did, I would be a hypocrite because I don't exactly follow the Christian beliefs. There are things I do and don't do that a true Christian would not agree with. Also, I was tired of going to church week after week and constantly being told that even if I'd been a good person, I still made god angry because I passed up an opportunity to spread his word to a nonbeliever. The guilt was seriously overwhelming.

Let me just say that my dad was among the biggest examples of a Christian fundamentalist who was a huge hypocrite. He did drugs, he cheated on each of his wives (he was remarried five times), and he stood behind a podium three times a week telling people to live their lives exactly the way he WASN'T living. When my father died, it occurred to me that if god was the way he described him, he had no place in heaven. That thought was something I struggled with for quite some time, but eventually it turned into a question. If this all-powerful god that my dad claimed as his personal lord and savior was as strong as Christians believe, why, then, when we beg god to deliver us from temptation, do so many Christians continue to sin without even giving it a second thought? Small doubts like that pretty much took over my thoughts for a while, and eventually the biggest bomb hit me - if there really is no god, then when we die.. we just die. When I allowed myself to consider that thought, I can honestly say that is the most depressing moment I've experienced in my entire life.

In chat, I said I considered myself a "hopeful agnostic". If I could somehow suddenly believe in god without any doubts or questions, with or without proof, I would immediately jump back on "the straight and narrow path" and reclaim my position as a born-again Christian. However, if I constantly have the guilt in the back of my mind because of the thought that maybe god doesn't really exist, I can't allow myself to live that life. I WANT that life back. I liked going to church, believe it or not. I liked everything about that life, except for the fact that I can't do it if I feel guilty about it. I'm still coming to terms with saying "I'm not a Christian." It still hurts sometimes to say it.

I don't know what I believe right now. If you call me an atheist, that's fine, I have no problem accepting that term and I couldn't care less about the stigma associated with it. And if I do decide to re-embrace my religion, it would be my person decision, not because someone else helped me "see the light".

Side note, I don't trust a lot of Christians. I lose a lot of respect for people who rely on blind faith to tell them how to live their lives and just follow a set of guidelines without a second thought. And those who are halfway smart a lot of times have their own skeletons and are just really good at hiding it.