mom/self-esteem issues Options

[barbieeedollxo]

my mom has always talked about how she hated me and i would never ammount to anything and all this crap. she has always made me feel like i was worthless and like i just needed to die...and things just always seem to keep getting worse..
and now because of her i rly have no self-esteem...
i hate myself and i guess its because she has put me down so much and it's all i've ever heard that after a while i just started believeing that it was true..
like when ever i date a guy i always feel like they shouldn't be with me and that they should be with someone better than me..
and i always feel like i don't deserve anything good...
any suggestions on how i can get better self-confidence?
and now a lil bit more about my mom....
she treats me like shit when we're not around ppl...
and then when we're in front of ppl i'm like an angel to her...
she so confusing
cause one min she hates me and wants me dead and the next she loves me and is bragging about me..
i'm almost 18 and she treats me like a 2 yr old.
any suggestions on what i can say or do to get it over to my mom that i won't take her shit any more?

[S-Majere]

Firstly, I'm sorry that you're having to go through all this with your mom. It sounds like she has some serious issues herself.

To start with, I'd say pretty much raise what you've told us here with your mom. Remember that you need to stay civil and try not to raise your voice at her.

It's difficult giving advice in these sorts of situations; and it's really up to you how you handle it as noone here really knows yourself or your mom. Do you have a dad to talk to about this, or a close friend or relative?

As for your self-esteem; I would guess that your mom has low self esteem too, and that she reacts by taking it out on you. This isn't on and could possibly be construed as psychological abuse.

[barbieeedollxo]

Firstly, I'm sorry that you're having to go through all this with your mom. It sounds like she has some serious issues herself.

To start with, I'd say pretty much raise what you've told us here with your mom. Remember that you need to stay civil and try not to raise your voice at her.

It's difficult giving advice in these sorts of situations; and it's really up to you how you handle it as noone here really knows yourself or your mom. Do you have a dad to talk to about this, or a close friend or relative?

As for your self-esteem; I would guess that your mom has low self esteem too, and that she reacts by taking it out on you. This isn't on and could possibly be construed as psychological abuse.

yea it is alot to go thru especially since this is my senior year and all..
and as far as having ppl to talk to um..i used to have ppl to talk like my dad and relatives and stuff but she has like turned them all agaisnt me telling them how bad of a person i am...i mean yea i've made mistkes but who is perfect?? NOBODY!!

[S-Majere]

yea it is alot to go thru especially since this is my senior year and all..
and as far as having ppl to talk to um..i used to have ppl to talk like my dad and relatives and stuff but she has like turned them all agaisnt me telling them how bad of a person i am...i mean yea i've made mistkes but who is perfect?? NOBODY!!

It's very doubtful that your mom has turned everyone 'against you'. You have every right to be heard and she should realise this. Start by very calmly explaining how upset you are - but do not directly accuse her of anything until you are sure she will give your thoughts serious consideration.

You could start by having a quick chat with your dad and see what he says.