OKay I need advide, GUY HELP PLEASEE Options

[Pumpx3itup]

okay this is going to be slightly confusing and
you need a summary of my bfs

#1 abused me
#2 used me
#3 pressured me
#4 loved me

okay, Soo I broke up with them all for obvious reasons except for 4
all he ever did was love me. and I broke up with him because someone started a rumor he just wanted in my pants and I got scared. so I ran.
But I really care about him but i'm really unstable and I don't know what to do I know he could help me heal. Ohh but main problem. ALL of my friends hate him and they got mad that i talk to him. but When i was in his arms I felt soo happy and safe. and happy and I aren't usually togetehr in a sentance. I'm battling depression, and a self harm addiction. I just want some advice from people who havent heard the rumors and maybe know how i feel

kthnx♥

ask anything you like if I left stuff out.

[Kontroll]

I think I'm going to kill myself. I can't take this dumb shit anymore.

Well, you have a problem. None of them. This is how I see it.

You're a self destructive person. That's what you admitted to. Is it not? Number one abused you. I think we can agree that that is destructive. Number two used you. Again, destructive. And number three pressured you. Yet, again...destructive. You must wear your emotions on your sleeve because obviously they saw it and took advantage of you. I mean, if I knew how a girl was feeling then I would do everything in my power to toy with her. I mean, it's a power thing. You let them take advantage of you and you paid the price. So, really it's your fault.

The fourth guy I don't think loves you. How old are you anyway? I'm just asking because most of the time people on here are teenagers, and we all know how teenagers view love... It's one big happy festival. YAY! WHITE PONIES AND LONG FLOWING DRESSES!

You ran because you're not used to that kind of attention.