Am I wasting my time?, 5 year relationship, give up now? Options

[msladyliberty]

Hello all!! This might be a little confusing, so I'm gonna try to keep it short and simple for you all.

It seems like every other year, my boyfriend gets into "flirty" conversations online with other girls. Somehow, I find out by accident (accidentally IM the "hey baby"). This has happened twice. He'd also talk to these girls hours on end on the phone while he was away (he's in the airforce).

I've let those 2 incidents go, because I felt that I didn't do enough on my part to love him, so I blamed myself. So 2 years past, and I just found out in June that he sent 2 dozen red roses to a Jonalyn in Hawaii (an ex-gf from like 8th grade, we're 23 and 24 now!). I was really upset this time because I actually thought he'd changed. On top of that, he "promised" me "twice," that he'd never do this again.

So, after the arguing, the fighting, the separation, then the breakup, we're back together. His reasons for doing this was because I wasn't "what he wanted me to be," yet he still begs for me to stay with him and work things out. I've been fooled and confused, yet I'm so in love with him. He promised he'd never do this again, and that he'll "really, really" change.

I really love this man, truly love him. I have changed dramatically since this has happened, and I've become this jealous, uptight, insecure person I swore I'd never be. He is truly an amazing person, yet I question my faith in us and I hate having doubts about it.

Question is:
Am I wasting my time with this man? I have given everything to him and sacrificed so much of my life and time for him. At 24, is he really being serious about us?

(I have never cheated on this man, never ever! I'm pretty damn loyal, besides I don't have time to cheat, I have to go to work and school!)

Your opinions are greatly appreciated, thank you for your time!

[Comptine]

If he says that you aren't what he wants you to be, then that might be a sign that he's looking for something else. Five years is a long time and you're still young. Some people think being with someone so long is boring/tied down etc. I understand that you really love him and he probably loves you too but sometimes, after awhile people start looking for something new.

Maybe you should have a nice long talk with him and have him understand how you feel when he does what he does. Since you really love him, making the relationship work will take some effort.

But, just to let you know, don't let him change you just cause he's bored or looking for something different. I think you're doing a good job as a girlfriend, being so patient and understanding. If that isn't what he wants, I don't know what is.

I also think, maybe taking a break from each will put things in focus.

Whatever you do, I wish you the best of luck. =)