Am I wasting my time?, 5 year relationship, give up now? Options

[msladyliberty]

Hello all!! This might be a little confusing, so I'm gonna try to keep it short and simple for you all.

It seems like every other year, my boyfriend gets into "flirty" conversations online with other girls. Somehow, I find out by accident (accidentally IM the "hey baby"). This has happened twice. He'd also talk to these girls hours on end on the phone while he was away (he's in the airforce).

I've let those 2 incidents go, because I felt that I didn't do enough on my part to love him, so I blamed myself. So 2 years past, and I just found out in June that he sent 2 dozen red roses to a Jonalyn in Hawaii (an ex-gf from like 8th grade, we're 23 and 24 now!). I was really upset this time because I actually thought he'd changed. On top of that, he "promised" me "twice," that he'd never do this again.

So, after the arguing, the fighting, the separation, then the breakup, we're back together. His reasons for doing this was because I wasn't "what he wanted me to be," yet he still begs for me to stay with him and work things out. I've been fooled and confused, yet I'm so in love with him. He promised he'd never do this again, and that he'll "really, really" change.

I really love this man, truly love him. I have changed dramatically since this has happened, and I've become this jealous, uptight, insecure person I swore I'd never be. He is truly an amazing person, yet I question my faith in us and I hate having doubts about it.

Question is:
Am I wasting my time with this man? I have given everything to him and sacrificed so much of my life and time for him. At 24, is he really being serious about us?

(I have never cheated on this man, never ever! I'm pretty damn loyal, besides I don't have time to cheat, I have to go to work and school!)

Your opinions are greatly appreciated, thank you for your time!

[msladyliberty]

^I totally have analyzed the "is it all worth it?" kinda deal.

I'm literally kicking myself right now for being with him...still...and I'm still with him for all the wrong reasons.

I mean, we got a lease together and a joint account. I just haven't had the chance to save up enough to get off this relationship. Basically, I just need more time to plan things out, and I'm waiting for a distraction (i.e. school).

Plus, I'm totally upset because she's not even that cute! (well to me she isn't, she's kinda fobby to me) I don't have much pictures of me ('cause I'm not a picture kinda person) but I feel offended that he's cheating on me with THIS girl! Like really, at least upgrade from me! Not down-grade!

Jonalyn's slideshows

let me know what you guys think. and don't sugar coat it! be honest!! 'cause all my friends say I'm better...but I think they're just being too nice about it.