Am I wasting my time?, 5 year relationship, give up now? Options

[msladyliberty]

Hello all!! This might be a little confusing, so I'm gonna try to keep it short and simple for you all.

It seems like every other year, my boyfriend gets into "flirty" conversations online with other girls. Somehow, I find out by accident (accidentally IM the "hey baby"). This has happened twice. He'd also talk to these girls hours on end on the phone while he was away (he's in the airforce).

I've let those 2 incidents go, because I felt that I didn't do enough on my part to love him, so I blamed myself. So 2 years past, and I just found out in June that he sent 2 dozen red roses to a Jonalyn in Hawaii (an ex-gf from like 8th grade, we're 23 and 24 now!). I was really upset this time because I actually thought he'd changed. On top of that, he "promised" me "twice," that he'd never do this again.

So, after the arguing, the fighting, the separation, then the breakup, we're back together. His reasons for doing this was because I wasn't "what he wanted me to be," yet he still begs for me to stay with him and work things out. I've been fooled and confused, yet I'm so in love with him. He promised he'd never do this again, and that he'll "really, really" change.

I really love this man, truly love him. I have changed dramatically since this has happened, and I've become this jealous, uptight, insecure person I swore I'd never be. He is truly an amazing person, yet I question my faith in us and I hate having doubts about it.

Question is:
Am I wasting my time with this man? I have given everything to him and sacrificed so much of my life and time for him. At 24, is he really being serious about us?

(I have never cheated on this man, never ever! I'm pretty damn loyal, besides I don't have time to cheat, I have to go to work and school!)

Your opinions are greatly appreciated, thank you for your time!

[cyb3r0ptik]

it's not a question of how much you love him.
there's no doubt in my mind that you do...

but the question is, do you love yourself enough?

please take this lightly.. i'm an outsider who doesn't know a lick about you, but imho... you've said this yourself...
he has somebody else on the side, and you don't want her to win.

is that justification enough to try to make it work? when only one person (IE you) is making that commitment?

if he's stopped, and truly stopped, and you still don't trust him, he should never be defensive, and he should be open to you being uneasy about conversations, emails, phone calls, etc.
he should understand how you feel about him talking to Jonalyn, and stop talking to her. out of respect for you.

i hate to burst your bubble, hun... but at 24 years old you have more and better things to do than waste your time on somebody, to be the only one willing to resurrect what you guys used to have.

yeah, it sucks that it's 5 years and this is happening, but... in the end, is it really going to be worth it?

and on the other side, i could be completely wrong. like i said, i'm an outside who knows nothing about you.

i hope the best of the situation finds you.