almost 9 months, should I put out? Options

[fugu]

I would be lying if I didn't say I want to go for 3rd base or for a home run but I was planning to try and restrain myself from a home run until college. The person I'm with brings stuff like foreplay and sex up a lot and I've gotten used to it as just talk and treat it that way. They tell me "8 months in, relationships that lasted this long have done more things then we have". There's some tension in the air and because I didn't give in and said yes when now they're seriously talking about doing stuff together. I'm now a repressed robot causing the person I'm with to be sexually frustrated I guess.


My question to CB is,
Do you think being sexually active is necessary? Do you think it helps a relationship stronger? My mind's a mess I don't know whether saying yes and doing stuff would just be giving in and being in the norm or if I'm really repressed and I should just jump in. 411==> I'm a incoming senior. Thanks to any replies.

[falsetigerlimbs]

Well I don't necessarily think the answer to this question is what you should base your decision on.

Sex is obviously not necessary, nor does it always strengthen a relationship. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it if you want to.

It sounds to me like you want to go further with him, but you're just trying to hold out. You've been with this guy for nine months, so you two obviously have a good relationship. Would you regret it if you did this with him? I doubt you would, even if you broke up with him later on.

I'm in college, and I'm still a virgin, because I was trying to hold out too. I could have had sex with one of my past boyfriends, but I didn't...and to be honest, I now kind of regret it, because I really liked one boyfriend in particular and I wish I could have lost it to him (he actually moved away; we didn't break up).

But what if you break up with your boyfriend before college, or something else happens to break you apart? Would you regret not doing it with one of your first "true loves"? You don't know when you'll next find a guy like him. If you haven't lost your virginity already, you might end up losing it later on to someone you don't love as much as your current boyfriend.

All of that said though, if you REALLY don't feel comfortable, or if he's pressuring you too much, don't do it. But don't forget that your feelings of being uncomfortable could also just be nerves. I don't get the impression that he is being super pushy about it, but all guys are going to bring it up at some point.

Ok I'm going to shut up now. I just wanted to give you a different perspective.