Losing the will to live Options

[IfICouldEscape]

Basically got no friends, no girlfriend, the one I want I can't have, I can't get over, someone spread a rumour about me, not true, feel like shit, I bottle it in my room every day, noone I feel like I want to turn to despite my parents being fine and that, don't socialise, depressed.

How do people make friends lol? All the people at my school I just don't like, or they don't like me, I have developed social anxiety, basically I fear talking to people now, never know what to say, feel as if I'm being judged, I can't break the ice, it takes me agessssssssss to get to know someone properly to the point where when I walk by them I can stop and talk and not just walk by either ignoring them or just nodding my head. I haven't been able to get to that point apart from 1 person who I hold to my heart as a real close friend. I never know how to take a friendship further after the first meeting or two, with me it just seems like they become nodding pals after a while and I'm just thinking what am I doing wrong excluding the rumour but in different environments. I start to think I'm just such a boring person when they meet me. I find that there's nothing for me to see someone for after the first meeting point or 2/3 etc. I feel like a stranger to them and don't seem to build and connections. Sometimes I just talk to them for the sake of not looking like a loner but really I'm just bored of them and vice versa most likely. I'm starting to feel anxiety when I talk to people I hardly ever do or when meeting people for the first time. That way I find it more comfortable to just avoid talking to people all together, I even avoid talking to anyone really, at least I feel calmer. I seriously don't know what to say to break the ice, it really affects me. Any suggestions, thanks in advance.

[Kontroll]

Basically got no friends, no girlfriend, the one I want I can't have, I can't get over, someone spread a rumour about me, not true, feel like shit, I bottle it in my room every day, noone I feel like I want to turn to despite my parents being fine and that, don't socialise, depressed.

How do people make friends lol? All the people at my school I just don't like, or they don't like me, I have developed social anxiety, basically I fear talking to people now, never know what to say, feel as if I'm being judged, I can't break the ice, it takes me agessssssssss to get to know someone properly to the point where when I walk by them I can stop and talk and not just walk by either ignoring them or just nodding my head. I haven't been able to get to that point apart from 1 person who I hold to my heart as a real close friend. I never know how to take a friendship further after the first meeting or two, with me it just seems like they become nodding pals after a while and I'm just thinking what am I doing wrong excluding the rumour but in different environments. I start to think I'm just such a boring person when they meet me. I find that there's nothing for me to see someone for after the first meeting point or 2/3 etc. I feel like a stranger to them and don't seem to build and connections. Sometimes I just talk to them for the sake of not looking like a loner but really I'm just bored of them and vice versa most likely. I'm starting to feel anxiety when I talk to people I hardly ever do or when meeting people for the first time. That way I find it more comfortable to just avoid talking to people all together, I even avoid talking to anyone really, at least I feel calmer. I seriously don't know what to say to break the ice, it really affects me. Any suggestions, thanks in advance.

Yo, you're just making it worse for yourself. You got no friends cause you don't like any one. Its not their fault. Secondly, I don't have a girlfriend. I haven't had one since last year. Boo f**king who. Stop bitchin'. It's not the end of the world. Yo, why don't you try being a celebrity. They get rumors spread around about them all the time. Deal with it. It's life. It's tough. You want to know why you feel like shit? Because you're selfish and only think about your problems. Seriously, go help some people out. Get your mind of yourself. It helps. And you have a very bad attitude. Be optimistic for once. Life's not all that bad, when you see things in a good light. Damn.

Yo, after reading what you wrote, I felt like some one was talking about me. Seriously. I'm exactly the same way. To the tee. Dude, you just gotta face your fears. Also, I do this alot too and I'm sure you do as well. Stop over analyzing things. Haha. But seriously. Whatever your head tells you to do, don't do it. Or don't listen. It's never as worse as it really is. So, do something about it.

If you want to talk about it later, just holla back at me. Peace.