Losing the will to live Options

[IfICouldEscape]

Basically got no friends, no girlfriend, the one I want I can't have, I can't get over, someone spread a rumour about me, not true, feel like shit, I bottle it in my room every day, noone I feel like I want to turn to despite my parents being fine and that, don't socialise, depressed.

How do people make friends lol? All the people at my school I just don't like, or they don't like me, I have developed social anxiety, basically I fear talking to people now, never know what to say, feel as if I'm being judged, I can't break the ice, it takes me agessssssssss to get to know someone properly to the point where when I walk by them I can stop and talk and not just walk by either ignoring them or just nodding my head. I haven't been able to get to that point apart from 1 person who I hold to my heart as a real close friend. I never know how to take a friendship further after the first meeting or two, with me it just seems like they become nodding pals after a while and I'm just thinking what am I doing wrong excluding the rumour but in different environments. I start to think I'm just such a boring person when they meet me. I find that there's nothing for me to see someone for after the first meeting point or 2/3 etc. I feel like a stranger to them and don't seem to build and connections. Sometimes I just talk to them for the sake of not looking like a loner but really I'm just bored of them and vice versa most likely. I'm starting to feel anxiety when I talk to people I hardly ever do or when meeting people for the first time. That way I find it more comfortable to just avoid talking to people all together, I even avoid talking to anyone really, at least I feel calmer. I seriously don't know what to say to break the ice, it really affects me. Any suggestions, thanks in advance.

[fathomlessdame]

I used to struggle with depression...still do to a certain extent.

Its not worth it to die. its not! believe me, i wanted to..i wanted to really bad. and then i thought about all of my family, and what they would say about it. and i thought about ppl at school...how they would think of it if i killed myself. its a pretty selfish thing to do, ya know? its a unfixable option for a fixable situation...srry, bad wording..but you get what i mean right? once you do it, its done. you can't change your mind afterwards and say 'oh shit! i dont think i wanted to do that'

and yeah, YOU can change your situation. maybe see a shrink? i kno theyre a pain, but meds can help to a certain extent--they help you see things clearer. but most ppl dont like the idea of seeing a shrink...so anyways. also, put yourself out there! dont be shy! join clubs at school. join a sport! and dont be shy, if you keep to yourself, ppl aren't gonna try to talk with you--they'll probably think your just antisocial and not worth their time (which i doubt is true) i'm not saying you should all of a sudden be really bubbly and out there, but you gotta try. go up to someone and say 'hi, hows it going?" or talk about whatever theyre doing. maybey you might share interests and might click, you never kno until you try.

[illriginal]

and yeah, YOU can change your situation. maybe see a shrink? i kno theyre a pain, but meds can help to a certain extent--they help you see things clearer.

Or Chakra meditation. You don't need to pay for another human to feed you pills and try to explain to you what other people think on a normal basis. It's something that a person should have the drive/ambition to figure out.

I'd highly recommend meditation for any psychological problems.


But then again, if you have the money and you think another human knows your problems as well as you do lol, then get a psychologist/psychiatrist.