My boyfriends,bestfriend. Options

[misfit]

Ok my boyfriend's bestfriend is a girl.They have been bestfriends for about 7 or more years.They are both 20.And she has a boyfriend also who she seems to really be in love with.I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year now and we love eachother and what not,but when my boyfriend comments her on myspace saying stuff like hey gorgeous,and i miss you and love you lots and stuff,it makes me feel like shit.I mean i'm his girlfriend,not her..I wish he didn't speak to her that way..I mean do you find that normal?I mean he talks to me just about the same way..It makes me feel like i'm second best.I just haven't known a friendship like that,where they are so close and speak to eachother in a lovingly type way.I just find it weird.

And his other girl bestfriend,there was a photo of him and her in his bed together,on her myspace and I just went nuts.Yet I didn't realise she has a few other photos like that with her in another guy friends bed and he also has a girlfriend..We've sorted all that out but his guy friend saw the photo and said Oh sweet hit on her....I guess he was joking but how do I know that??

Ahhhhhhhhhh I wish my boyfriend just didnt have girl bestfriends..They have made me feel unwelcome from the start..He defends them no matter what and I feel like they are so much more important than me..Sorry that this is so long.

[*MyMichelle*]

I say you break up with him.

Seriously. Your boyfriend is completely dense, and it does sound like he's cheating on you. Not maybe physically, yet, but definitely mentally.

I know it's "Dicks before chicks" or whatever; you're supposed to value your best friends over your boyfriend/girlfriend, but she is the opposite gender, and she should definitely NOT matter as much as you do. You should not be dealing with this shit. Call him out and tell him how you feel, and don't be afraid to do it.

[misfit]

I say you break up with him.

Seriously. Your boyfriend is completely dense, and it does sound like he's cheating on you. Not maybe physically, yet, but definitely mentally.

I know it's "Dicks before chicks" or whatever; you're supposed to value your best friends over your boyfriend/girlfriend, but she is the opposite gender, and she should definitely NOT matter as much as you do. You should not be dealing with this shit. Call him out and tell him how you feel, and don't be afraid to do it.

What makes you think he is cheating on me?They live far away form eachother and I can tell how in love she is with her boyfriend and my boyfriend does show me how much he loves me.She only comes down to visit her friends every weekend.I mean theres no proof..that he is.
And they see eachother as sister and brother and she flirts with everyone.He hasnt done anything about it because he doesnt think he flirts,they both think its just joking around,i do over react,i know i can be pretty paranoid..and others say how she flirts with everyone..So I don't know,even if they joke it sorta annoys me but i mean they are so used to joking around flirting for years and the nall the sudden they have to change coz of me?

[*MyMichelle*]

What makes you think he is cheating on me?They live far away form eachother and I can tell how in love she is with her boyfriend and my boyfriend does show me how much he loves me.She only comes down to visit her friends every weekend.I mean theres no proof..that he is.
And they see eachother as sister and brother and she flirts with everyone.He hasnt done anything about it because he doesnt think he flirts,they both think its just joking around,i do over react,i know i can be pretty paranoid..and others say how she flirts with everyone..So I don't know,even if they joke it sorta annoys me but i mean they are so used to joking around flirting for years and the nall the sudden they have to change coz of me?

No wonder your boyfriend has so many "best girlfriends." Because you're pitiful and you won't even stand up for yourself. "and the nall the sudden they have to change coz of me?" Well, if you're his goddamned girlfriend, then, yeah, maybe he should try to be less flirty and more friend-ly.

I don't know if he's cheating on you. The only information I have gotten is from what you have written personally. And from what you have written, it seems like he might as well be cheating on you. I guess you never mentioned that the other girl had a boyfriend til now?

Stop filling yourself with excuses so that you can suffer more. It's your relationship. If you want to sit there and be uncomfortable and "unwelcomed" by his girlfriends, that's your fault, your choice.

[misfit]

No wonder your boyfriend has so many "best girlfriends." Because you're pitiful and you won't even stand up for yourself. "and the nall the sudden they have to change coz of me?" Well, if you're his goddamned girlfriend, then, yeah, maybe he should try to be less flirty and more friend-ly.

I don't know if he's cheating on you. The only information I have gotten is from what you have written personally. And from what you have written, it seems like he might as well be cheating on you. I guess you never mentioned that the other girl had a boyfriend til now?

Stop filling yourself with excuses so that you can suffer more. It's your relationship. If you want to sit there and be uncomfortable and "unwelcomed" by his girlfriends, that's your fault, your choice.

I said they made me feel unwelcome in the start and then it got better.I did stand up for myself,I told her the problems i had with her.I am a very paranoid person,they do jokingly flirt but i guess maybe i just dont see it that way,it still makes me feel crappy.She does flirt with everyone.It's not as if it's just with him.Just because he has a girl bestfriend and they pretend flirt with eachother doesnt mean he's cheating on me.I remember her saying to me she'd never go down that path coz she sees him as a brother and shes completely in love with her boyfriend.

[littleswallow]

I said they made me feel unwelcome in the start and then it got better.I did stand up for myself,I told her the problems i had with her.I am a very paranoid person,they do jokingly flirt but i guess maybe i just dont see it that way,it still makes me feel crappy.She does flirt with everyone.It's not as if it's just with him.Just because he has a girl bestfriend and they pretend flirt with eachother doesnt mean he's cheating on me.I remember her saying to me she'd never go down that path coz she sees him as a brother and shes completely in love with her boyfriend.

Correct me if I'm wrong but if you're in a relationship, you shouldn't even be flirting with anyone in the first place... right?