Dear cB Diary,, Createblog Diary no. 10 Options

[HakunaMatata]

Dear cB Diary,

After watching Spider Man 3 last night, I feel better about my eye bags.

And I demand that I get at least two dollars back from my ticket after watching the hottest guy of the movie die. SRSLY.
Love,

Kayceeee

[DarkInsanityxx]

Dear cB Diary,

Well today I thought nothing in the world could go wrong at school, but obviously i was wrong real wrong. It happened during 8th period, me and my friend were just sitting in our english class talking since we had already taken our final. Since the morning my left eye has be twitching. And you know that little statement if your left eye twitches something bad will happen and if you right eye twitches its a good thing, well yeah my left eye had been twitching since i left my house. And i've been dating this guy for not such a long time but hell i fall in love to easy. I never knew why but it happens. im usually the one everyone like to gass up because its easy to do it to me. So yeah...he comes and tells me, "I think we should end this relationship, because this relationship can't continue." so i just nodded my head and was just in shock. Now at first i thought hey its probably cause since he's a senior, he's leaving so i guess its ok. But when i went downstairs to my next class room there he was messing with someone else. So my whole heart dropped like i couldnt talk or anything. I just stood quiet that whole time i was there. once i left the school on the express train i just started to tear. Like i didnt know other people were around me i just went into my own little world. So see im always wondering why it always happens to me but i guess its whatever now all i can do is move on and just cry a little. I mean hopefully tomorrow i get to spend time with my brother Leon and Kristina. Maybe it would get my head out of it all. Hopefully.....

But honestly at the moment i just like want to call him a f**ker and everything. Like...so much is in my heart that i want to say to him but i dont have the strength to do it. I just rather keep shut about all my emotions and just continue on smiling like mi Tio told me to. He's words continued in my head today. "Always have a smile on your face no matter what. Its good for you." I never really understood it till sometime ago before he past away. Maybe right now the thing about the BF isnt bothering. Cause i mean...i may just be using it as an excuse for what i really feel. My dad he's an alcholic and well it hurts that i cant do anything to help. i tried and tried to help over and over again but nothing. Seeing him spit blood, throw up blood and just see blood stains everywhere....its scary to think that one day i might come home and he might not be breathing anymore. even though i say i hate my father he is still my father when i needed something he was there..but..its very hard to force myself to come home and just smile to my father. Probably thats the true reason im crying. Cause it certainly feels that way. Maybe also the reason i fall in love quickly is cause if god forbid my father dies...i need someone to comfort me...or something i dont know. But...its to much to think and say about my situation about what i've been threw its actually unbelievable that i can still smile. But i will no matter what i will....i must....i have to.....Smile

-Kami