why does everything have to be so complicated, urg.. Options

[y0urelectrikk]

sigh. well really long story short... I went out with this guy, Pat, for like 9 months. and I was really in love with him. but he broke up with me because I "deserved better" and said I really need to find a new boyfriend... and about a week later he had a new girlfriend. a;lskdf.
so I pretty much cried every single day over that kid.. as pathetic as it sounds. everyone told me I should move on and stop wasting my time, and to just try and forget him.. even though it seems nearly impossible and I would do anything to get that kid back. but absolutely nothing was working and he stopped talking to me. and he lives like 45 mins away so its not like I get to see him in school or anything.
So now its about 3 months later and I figured I would finally listen to what everyone was telling me and try to move on.

so then there's James. James has always been a good friend.. and he recently broke up with his girlfriend. A few days later he asked me out.. so I said yes.
Well.. now his ex (a girl I knew, but wasn't really good friends with) is pissed the f*ck off at me, asking me how I could possibly do that to her because she knew I went through the same thing. and now I feel really bad because I did go though pretty much the same thing and I felt terrible then.

So now I dont know what to do.. even if I do break up with James it wouldnt make things any better for her. She would still be hurt and hate my guts. But now I just feel crappy about the whole thing. Am I supposed to put my life on pause for this girl who will hate me no matter what I do.. until she feels better?.. but end up hurting James... or what?

this is seriously a ... lose, lose, lose sittuation.

[sweetest-emotion]

hmm...interesting.
well i just recently broke up with my (now ex) boyfriend and yeah i miss him like hell, but i would kill for a guy to be here for me now like you have james. but his ex needs to CHILL THE EFF OUT! you knew the girl, you weren't best buds for life, he's moved on and so should she! don't feel bad at all!! he's helping you move on and that's exactly what you need (and what she needs!). if you like the guy, stay with him, but i would be cautious of the ex...like if she makes a move for james or even goes for your ex. really no worries, don't compromise your happiness for her, it will just make you more sad. good luck, but NEVER compromise your happiness for someone else, and no you're not being selfish.