Come Back, poem for my dad Options

[*S0ul_Reaper*]

when I awoke today and you werent there
Am I suppose to give up and not care?
I'm counting the days, watching the clock
until you come back and surprise me in shock

I wouldn't know what to do
but if my reality becomes true
I'll be waiting every day
for an answer if it comes today

You left knowing you might not make it back
I pretended to be strong, when my emotions attacked
as I watched you leave, flying over the sea
would you make it back and come home to me

I know I hated you as I got older
missing that bond we had for each other
somehow disappeared and my childhood was gone
an empty hole in my heart that still clings on

I can hear it crying out for you
the pain the tears me in two
while I bang my fists on the wall
waiting here for your call

thinking if you made it there alive
thinking if your able to survive
hearing the gun shots I can barely sleep
Im desperate and I'm counting sheeps

I'm prepared for the worst, waiting for the news
for your return and when my heart starts aching
that hole that still lies deep inside this heart
I'm at my peak waiting for it to tear apart

I wish I could turn back time and relive these years
of a child so I wouldn't have to fear
of Dad not being here to fill this hole
that I'll live with until I become old

Only if you didn't go
Id still have a chance to say my words to you
please come back safely and I'll always love you
no matter if you end up dying I'll be here
waiting for you in my pain of tears

this is something ive thought of writing lafter hearing that my dad is going over seas to iraq and maybe won't be here for my graduation, and I may not see him for a long time. so im kinda sad,mad, mixture of emotions.