I grieve. Options

[HakunaMatata]

My mother passed away a little over two weeks ago, and this has been on my mind.

So my mother was sick. Really, really, really sick. In bed suffering for months. When she passed away, it wasn't at all surprised. According to a therapist, we as humans begin grieving when someone gets terminally ill; like the brain automatically prepares itself. And you know, I think that's true. I was ready as possibly could be, which is probably why, even the day after, I was still going to school, posting on cB, etc.

Since then, I've been A-OK. My overall happiness has decreased, sure, but it's not like I'm hysterically grieving every day. But the pain comes in waves; I'm fine for a while, then out of nowhere I'm breaking down. Then I'm okay again.

So the point is about truly grieving. Have you experienced true grief? What did you do while grieving? How did you deal with it?

P.S. I mean this in the most sensitive manner: Please don't post in here with "I'm so sorry." because honestly, people who grieve (well at least this is how I feel) already know your sorry, and we're truly appreciative of your caring, but let's keep the discussion to grieving, hm?

[*WHIMSICAL 0NE*]

I think the unexpected deaths are a lot harder to deal with. Summer of 2005 three of my friends died in a car accident in August. The hardest part about that was they weren't doing anything wrong and Kyle, a friend of mine since I was little toddler burned to death in the car. People who were around when it happened said they could hear him screaming for help from inside the car. In May of 2005 (not even a full month before he was to graduate) my friend passed away when his car hooked the edge of the road and he drove into a cement wall. It wasn't that far from my house. The hardest part about people who pass by being in a car accident is going by the spots where they've died. It just hits you. It took me months to drive past a tree because I knew that's where my friend died.

I've lost a lot of people in my life and honestly I think it's made me a stronger person and it's made me appreciate the people who love me (and who i love) so much more. I grieve by crying and then denial and then it usually just hits me. I've tried not to be bitter because I've lost so many people in my life, but it's hard not to be. I'm not bitter towards anyone but it makes me doubt religion...