I grieve. Options

[HakunaMatata]

My mother passed away a little over two weeks ago, and this has been on my mind.

So my mother was sick. Really, really, really sick. In bed suffering for months. When she passed away, it wasn't at all surprised. According to a therapist, we as humans begin grieving when someone gets terminally ill; like the brain automatically prepares itself. And you know, I think that's true. I was ready as possibly could be, which is probably why, even the day after, I was still going to school, posting on cB, etc.

Since then, I've been A-OK. My overall happiness has decreased, sure, but it's not like I'm hysterically grieving every day. But the pain comes in waves; I'm fine for a while, then out of nowhere I'm breaking down. Then I'm okay again.

So the point is about truly grieving. Have you experienced true grief? What did you do while grieving? How did you deal with it?

P.S. I mean this in the most sensitive manner: Please don't post in here with "I'm so sorry." because honestly, people who grieve (well at least this is how I feel) already know your sorry, and we're truly appreciative of your caring, but let's keep the discussion to grieving, hm?

[HakunaMatata]

Holy shaz, this is like Kaycee's topic of enlightenment.

for you Kaycee.

Yes. I've truly experienced what it's like to grieve. That, and a sense of overwhelming denial that only made it hurt more when I realized it's true.

My grandmother raised me since I was a baby and she's more a mother to me than my mom is. I lived with her back in the Philippines and I went to Canada to start high school here. My mom and I were supposed to come home July 2005. She died June 2005. I didn't believe it and I called her house so many times waiting for her to pick up the phone and she never did. I think I avoided thinking about it.

I miss my Lola.

Robbi, don't make me break the P.S. rule I made in the first post. Awww, girl.

*moment of wisdom*

It was kind of different when I guy I knew died suddenly 18ish moths ago, though, because it was asuch as shock (car accident)... it was much more intense in the short term, like the next day at school, and up to the funeral, but after that it almost just went away like, altogether.

I think it's just different based on how it happens...

That I didn't about, either. I mean, sure, I've imagined what it must feel like to grieve after a sudden, unexpected death. Of course I imagined that it'd be different, like how there must be more denial and shock, but I never really took into consideration the differences in the length of grieving between the two circumstances.

i really dont know how it would feel to actually lose someone you love and are close to, this is the closest thing to it for me. honestly i dont know how i would deal with it, but hopefully everyone comes out stronger at the end.

Hmmm, to me I expect not so much stronger as wiser. The two may mean the same thing for some, but to me I think I'll definitely be weaker but more prepared, perhaps, if (God forbid) something happens like this again.