stupid |
 Apr 5 2007, 03:54 PM
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 peace&love, earth flower  Group: Member Posts: 651 Joined: Apr 2006 Member No: 398,938  |
i wrote this because of some guy, posted it on myspace, and the guy messages me to tell me it's stupid.
it's different from what i usually write, so i just wanted a second opinion: I watched this kid grow up And climb a broken tree All went well, until a branch snapped He fell, got a bruise on his knee And wept like the child he pretended not to be He hated this unfair game So he stopped to smoke the weeds He saw lights and smiles And decided it was alright To climb once again But he got to the top by abusing the tree So it crumbled ontop of the boy He was too high to realize I was trying to help him up. So he lays there, bruised, broken, buried.  thanks.
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Apr 6 2007, 12:53 AM
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#2
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Eternal Syn Group: Member Posts: 398 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 24,000 |
I am going to go out on the limb and say the tree represents his life? It's definitely an interesting piece, but I don't fully comprehend it. Also, I don't know your writing style so... that begs the question of: did you post any other of your writings up here?
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Apr 6 2007, 01:59 PM
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#3
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peace&love, earth flower Group: Member Posts: 651 Joined: Apr 2006 Member No: 398,938 |
^One other thing a really long time ago.
I don't think it would be much help though, this type of poetry is something different for me. |
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