Will he commit?, Looking for advice/thoughts... Options

[flowergirl]

Just popped in to see if any of you had any suggestions or experience. I'll try to help any of you when I come back.

I have had a long term boyfried going back along way. We have broken up before and had other girl/boyfriends, but we always got back together in the end. He has always been the one I love. He is the one I want to be with. I may as well get to the main point.

We had some relationship problems a few months ago and I had sex with someone else. Someone I did not really even like. Not only did I become pregnant, but it became known that we had had sex and that my baby is his. I am back with the love of my life again, we are seeing each other very much the way we used to, doing things like snuggle together while watching a dvd, but now I really have to think about the future of me and my child and where this would go. I am not really sure what my love wants. Perhaps he is confused himself. Can I get him to commit to me? I need to consider that I am not just 'me' any more but me and my child. If he had a baby I would be willing to adopt it if we could get together. How can I put the question to him directly?? How do guys in general feel about a baby they know isn't their's?

I don't think the biological father would be interested in seeing our baby, but I feel he could be a nasty complication I know I don't want to be with him, he is mean, irresponsible and really promiscuous.

[alysaphobia]

^ that was nice

wow... sounds like you've gone through a lot. i think firstly, you have to decide what you're going to do with your child; regardless of whether you and your boyfriend are getting back together. do YOU want to keep your child, even without her/his father? are you ready to support your own child right now, or do you want to abort or put it up for adoption? then put your boyfriend into the situation. if you want to keep your child, ask him if he'd be okay with that. it's probably a sore point for him because your child is the result of you having sex with somebody else- but if he really values your relationship, maybe he'll get over that.