It's so hard to comfort hysterical people. Options

[Smoogrish]

I don't know why, but whenever someone's sad, I can NEVER find the right words to comfort them. It's not like I'm not sorry for them (believe me, I am), but I go blank and all I can do is hug them and say lame things. It's horrible and I feel terrible for not being able to necessarily comfort them, all I can do is cheer them up slightly by cracking some jokes. It makes me feel a little incompetent for not being able to help them more. Does this happen to you?

[Chanfleh]

Well I've encountered moments where I've had to comfort a crying friend. At random moments too. At a -formal- party. Shopping. Movie theaters. I never expected it so I just never knew what to do. But I learned that some of my friends like to just rant and when their down, be hugged and on a shoulder to cry, and not cheered up. They just want to cry. But others want to be cheered up and want advice. So what I suggest is, try to find out what works with them. Do they like to talk about their problems? If they do, then really all you have to do is when you see them crying, hug them, and they'll hopefully open up immediately. Or ask ONCE "What's wrong?" or "What happened?" I suggest not asking constantly "What's wrong?" that'll just annoy them and want you to go away. If they don't answer the first time just hug them again, and don't ask again. Don't get frustrated if they won't tell you. Just let it go and try to be there for them. When someone's crying just put them on your shoulder, just let them cry. If they seem angry and are crying, stay away. (No I mean trust me stay away, I learned the hard way.) Just sit next to them, or in front of them. When their done and feel a little better, then go ahead and crack a joke. (or asked what happened or what's wrong if they were angry and crying)