should i give him a second chance? Options

[amyx312]

hello cb. well i need some advice if i should give my ex boyfriend a second chance. we broke up about an year&a half we broke up because i found out he was cheating on me and he still tells me he wasn't until i saw it with my own eyes. so i broke up with him. he moved to new jersey after&we never talked or seen each other. until one day i bumped into him outta no where&he gave me a build a bear teddy with a shirt on it saying i love amy. it was like if he knew he was going to bump into me because he had the bear in his hands or either he was going to my house to see me. he told me happy early birthday&that he couldn't be with me this year because we weren't together. i told him why he gave me it he told me because he loves me a lot and that everyone deserves a second chance. i was thinking to myself if he really loved me he wouldn't cheat on me. but again i don't know if i should give him a second chance because he's 21&im 15. my friend told me the other day that he moved back to nyc&that he's gonna try to win my heart back. i like someone else but then the person i like ain't doing nothing he doesn't know i like him he's not making no progress. i can't lie i been thinking about my ex boyfriend these couple of days. i been with him for 3months&i did have a good relationship with him. but then he hurted me so much&now he's coming back to my life again. i moved on about him. what do you think i should do? should i give him a second chance?

[*Uronacid*]

hello cb. well i need some advice if i should give my ex boyfriend a second chance. we broke up about an year&a half we broke up because i found out he was cheating on me and he still tells me he wasn't until i saw it with my own eyes. so i broke up with him. he moved to new jersey after&we never talked or seen each other. until one day i bumped into him outta no where&he gave me a build a bear teddy with a shirt on it saying i love amy. it was like if he knew he was going to bump into me because he had the bear in his hands or either he was going to my house to see me. he told me happy early birthday&that he couldn't be with me this year because we weren't together. i told him why he gave me it he told me because he loves me a lot and that everyone deserves a second chance. i was thinking to myself if he really loved me he wouldn't cheat on me. but again i don't know if i should give him a second chance because he's 21&im 15. my friend told me the other day that he moved back to nyc&that he's gonna try to win my heart back. i like someone else but then the person i like ain't doing nothing he doesn't know i like him he's not making no progress. i can't lie i been thinking about my ex boyfriend these couple of days. i been with him for 3months&i did have a good relationship with him. but then he hurted me so much&now he's coming back to my life again. i moved on about him. what do you think i should do? should i give him a second chance?

What I'm hearing.

So you started going out with this guy when you were 13 (he was 19). You had been with him for three months, and he repeatedly lied to you about being unfaithful until you caught him in the act and broke up with him. He then moved to NJ.

One and one-half years later you "randomly" bumped into him, and he handed you a build-a-bear with "I love you" on it's t-shirt. Now he's trying to win back your affection, and you're questioning giving him a second chance.

Break it down

• First off, you don't seem mature enough to have a healthy relationship with someone who is six years older than you. This very question that your asking speaks immaturity to me. Alright, I'm not saying you shouldn't ask questions like this. You definitely should, and this is the only way you will learn about yourself and how to make decisions like this one. On the other hand, you haven't developed a clear enough understanding of yourself and where you stand to make decisions such as this one. If you had, you wouldn't be asking a question like this one.
  
  Now, because you don't have a clear understanding on situations like this one, your boyfriend is given power. He has the power to manipulate your train on thought and fill in these unknown factors in your young mind with what he wants. This may be why he likes you so much. You are a fresh slate, and he can mold you into the girl he wants you to become.

• Second, you only dated him for three months. Now, you may feel like this is a long time, but three months isn't worth shit. Be real, it's not a long time and during that short period of time he repeatedly told you that he was faithful when in reality he wasn't. Alright, this should definitely speak to you. This kid couldn't stay faithful for three months, and you're thinking about taking him back?
  
  I would like to ask you to ask yourself a question, "When you two were dating did he get physical?" If so, this kid sounds like he's just trying to get some young pussy on-the-side. I'm sorry if my being blunt offends you, I'm only saying this with the best intentions. I want whats best for you.

• Third, sounds like he's playing a game to win you back. Giving you gifts and shit with sayings like, "I love you" posted all over them. C'mon, with words like filling the unknown factors of your mind do you really think that you're going to have bad thoughts about him. Of course not, everyone's looking to be loved (including yourself). It's only natural to think good things about someone who gives you a teddy bear with "I love you" plastered all over it. Don't be so naive, he doesn't love you... Does he really even know who you are? You guys dated for three months. I would say he has an infatuation for you because he knows that if he makes you feel like he likes you then you will do anything he wants.

Conclusion

What you do with my advice is up to you, but personally I don't think that it's in your best interest to date him.