vulnerable Options

[Winter]

I've started posting since like March but I am sure none of you actually really know me. And it's great you know, coz cB has been like an escape for me. cB is where I am able to truly be myself, no mask or anything.

When I got here, I decided to not get involved too much. Like be friends with all these people. I am not doing that again after what happened in kpopper. And I've done that. None of you have ever communicated with me outside of the forums.

But then I started talking with Chris (asiangetokewl) on AIM and it's so easy to talk with him. For once there is someone who understands how I feel. Someone actually knows part of the pain I go through.

And now I feel incredibly vulnerable. Someone understands me. I just feel scared. I don't know why.

Why am I feeling this? Why do I feel so scared?

[NvieDi3ai3yGrL]

He does respect the fact that my studies will always come first for me. I remember us talking about me getting a scholarship and us getting engaged. He said he knew I'd choose the scholarship instead of him. But he was okay with it...



I am glad I stayed friends with him. I don't normally talk with my exs' but he was special. He said to me before that even after a break up, he'd still be friends with the girl coz they were friends before and nothing was gonna change that.

I found out that staying friends with him help to get rid of some of the pain. Perhaps it is because he is there, and I don't have to cry over the fact that I'll never get to talk with him again. No matter what, he'll be there as a friend and I think that helps a lot.

awww it's nice to hear that he sincerely respects the fact that your studies come first. because although it may come first now he will become your first priority once you've successfully completed them. it's so sweet to talk about engagement after your accomplishments =]..it shows that he's truly unselfish for being okay with how you prioritized things in your life. if he was expecting to be put first and not caring about your goals then he wouldn't be worth it. but it seems to me that he's truly something more than the other guys.

i don't normally talk to my ex's either.. but you can tell when one is special from the rest<3. it's hard to just let the one that meant so much to you walk out of your life completely. the way i see it, i'd rather have them in my life as a friend than not at all. to throw all the wonderful memories and times together down the drain is pointless. staying friends does help with the pain because you know they're still there and it doesn't feel like a complete loss and, as i said before, there's still always hope for the person who sticks by you no matter what ;]. i think from what you've said so far that things are very hopeful for you guys and i wish nothing but the best!! keep studying hard.. it'll all pay off. and in the end i can see him right there waiting for you to congratulate you and share your success.