vulnerable Options

[Winter]

I've started posting since like March but I am sure none of you actually really know me. And it's great you know, coz cB has been like an escape for me. cB is where I am able to truly be myself, no mask or anything.

When I got here, I decided to not get involved too much. Like be friends with all these people. I am not doing that again after what happened in kpopper. And I've done that. None of you have ever communicated with me outside of the forums.

But then I started talking with Chris (asiangetokewl) on AIM and it's so easy to talk with him. For once there is someone who understands how I feel. Someone actually knows part of the pain I go through.

And now I feel incredibly vulnerable. Someone understands me. I just feel scared. I don't know why.

Why am I feeling this? Why do I feel so scared?

[Winter]

WELL IT`Z 0K THAT U THINK HIM AS AN EX... S0 YEAH N0 BAD PR0BLEMS AB0UT THAT. BUT I GUESS U D0NT LIKE THAT. HEH S0 I GUESS UR AFRAID THAT U WILL SEE CHRIS AS UR EX EVERYDAY? O_O;; YEAH PR0LLY CUS 0F THAT...LIKE U WILL THINK HIM AS UR EX EVERYDAY? U THINK THAT IT WILL HAPPEN LIKE THAT! RIGHT? L0LS I GUESS THAT`Z Y UR AFRAID!! YEAH UR PR0LLY AFRAID CUS 0F THAT
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I don't want to see Chris as my ex... I want to be able to see Chris as Chris and my ex as my ex with a difference between the two of them...

I want to stay friends with Chris but I just can't see that happening if I keep thinking 'Gawd he looks so much like Paul' you know?