Hate. |
| *I Shot JFK* |
 Feb 18 2007, 02:44 PM
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#1
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Hating everything
Stopped to see the flower, and it's beautiful All the little pieces together = Nothing But apart One at a time We can digest Suck the calories from the world And grow fat, lazy, and solid While we sit and learn to love The hate Which, drawn from the flowers (Which themselves are beautiful) Comprise the daily grind Of three meals a day Round the dinner table (Can one person sit 'round' a table?) Chopped flowers On a finely chopped base Of equally beautiful small children Who, failing to eat their hate Have yet to pull up a chair. |
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Feb 20 2007, 12:05 AM
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#2
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 Oh My Goblet of Fire!  Group: Member Posts: 222 Joined: Feb 2007 Member No: 504,421 |
I love the beat, very choppy. Were you going for that effect? I think you could break it down further and construct solid lines by sewing together a few ideas. This has excellent potential and I love the message.
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Posts in this topic
I Shot JFK Hate. Feb 18 2007, 02:44 PM
mishyerr Although I fail to understand what it means, I lik... Feb 18 2007, 08:04 PM oX_Muh_Nirvana_Xo .. this is f**ked up.. nice job Feb 18 2007, 08:19 PM Kathleen I like, except the random equal sign. I know it go... Feb 19 2007, 01:15 AM lalalaLANUH I dig the last few lines.
QUOTEChopped flowers
On... Feb 19 2007, 10:56 AM Chérie. I got the main idea of the piece but the transitio... Feb 19 2007, 11:48 PM JakeKKing RE: Hate. Feb 24 2007, 12:25 AM Uronacid I don't know much about literature... I don... Feb 27 2007, 12:47 AM just_rissa wow. It's nice. Feb 27 2007, 01:03 AM
The Abominable C-Pillar http://www.createblog.com/forums/index.php?showtop... Feb 27 2007, 01:13 AM |
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