If only I were you... Options

[lKVNiiKINKYl]

It is as if everywhere I turn, their eyes just pierce my skin. I have no haven from a pain that is not even real. It isn't something tangible, it is only within my own mind. All I know is the fear and the pain, never the joy, freedom, or happiness. I scrutinize and analyze myself in hopes of uncovering something worthwhile, but all I have uncovered is regret for looking. Maybe I'm not good enough and maybe it's just a sham; this live I live. I want to be need to be loved and admired. I crave for this...attention and when I don't have it jealousy and disgust is what overcomes me. Why don't people obsess over me? Why do people treat me as if I am some monster. I realize I am different and not the average norm in this society, but is it really that bad? I breathe. I eat. I hope. I dream. I love...or at least I thought I loved and right now I only wish i could cast away every single bit of indifference about me because all I want and all I wish for at this point is to conform to society, to be like you.

I wrote this before my sociology class.
A lot of things were going through my mind and I just needed to get it all out. I know, some of it doesn't make sense.

[wishforhelsinki]

um. first & last name please. this is so going on my binder.