Am I just being selfish? Options

[me1issaaaa]

This is going to be a little lengthy, so... yeah. Whoever reads the whole thing gets a cookie! READY, SET, HERE IT GOES.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months. We get along great most of the time, but I feel neglected a lot. When we first started dating, he was a senior and a month away from graduating, and I was a junior. I only saw him a few minutes between classes in school because neither of us had working cars at the time, and he was always busy with work and family stuff and whatnot. I didn't really care too terribly much then because... well, we had just started going out. Whatever.

A few months go by, and he gets a car. I see him a little more, but still it would only equal out to 3 or 4 times a week, for like half an hour each visit. I was a little bothered by that, and the fact that he was so close with his family, every night was "family time". EVERY NIGHT, and every weekend, and pretty much whenever they had free time they were doing something family-oriented. I thought it was a little bittersweet - it was nice how his family got along so well, but it was a bit much. It's not often that you find an 18 year old boy wanting to hang out with his family day after day after day after day, along with his 21 and 14 year old brothers.

Skip forward to about 2 months ago, in October. It's my Homecoming. My senior year. I didn't want to miss it, but I definitely wanted to spend it with my boyfriend. He had known about it for atleast a month, and the day of the Homecoming game comes, and about 2 hours before it starts, he calls and bails on me, saying he just doesn't feel like going. I wouldn't have minded, except that he had known for so long, and had promised me he would go with me for weeks prior to that. I thought that was totally unexpected... and it wasn't for him, it was for me. It was my thing. And the next night, which was the night of the actual dance, he invited 2 of his friends who had already graduated with him the year before. Um, rude much?

Two weeks ago, my Christmas concert thing for my chorus was going on. I had a solo, got to play the bells, and got to do a group dance thing for the senior girls (it was cute, I swear). Again, a few hours before it starts when I'm getting ready, I get a call from him saying he won't be able to make it, because apparently his parents were in a bad mood and he didn't want so make them more upset. And, once again, he had known about this event for several weeks and even scheduled off work for it.I was completely dumbfounded - an 18 year old guy afraid he'll upset mommy and daddy by going to a chorus concert?! I don't think that was the real reason, in all honesty I think it was complete bullshit. Later that night, I pretended like I didn't care and that it was his decision not to go, and he missed out. I didn't whine or anything... until I told my mom about everything. I ended up bawling the next night talking to her, while he went out with his friends to smoke pot.

Next morning comes, and I didn't hear from him the night before. About lunchtime I get a text from him, accusing me of being a whore because some kid sent me a message on Myspace saying I looked sexy at the concert. WHAT THE HELL, even now, 2 weeks later, I still don't understand why he was so upset over that. I still hold a grudge against everything that has happened recently, and my mom is pretty preturbed with his actions, as well. We're getting better, we're fighting less, but still.

I guess what I'm asking is... am I asking for too much? Is he not giving enough? I feel selfish for wanting to see him all the time, but at the same time I wonder why doesn't he want to see me more?

[Intercourselyts]

It's not often that you find an 18 year old boy wanting to hang out with his family day after day after day after day, along with his 21 and 14 year old brothers.

I have to agree that its a bit weird seeing this. Also I personally think that he should have atleast took out some time to be with you instead of always spending time with his family. Or atleast let you come over and be with the family too? I mean I don't think theres a problem with bringing your partner over to the family, I think its a good thing if you want a family one day.

Homecoming thing, I find it a bit funny about you being worried about being selfish, because the truth is. He was selfish in this matter.


I don't think your asking to much, by the sounds of it you guys don't spend enough time with each other. You need to meet him somewhere get together and go to a quiet spot and talk things out. If he backs out of it, then I hate to break it to you but hes not worth it. Tell him what you think and a way that you guys could improve the problem if you both want it to work.

Best of luck.