Createblog Diary, Version 9.0 Options

[*Zatanna*]

Originally started by faithin_felix.

Dear cB diary -

I wish I could somehow make the days last for more than 24 hours at a time. It seems like I just can't get everything done lately. :(

And I'm nervous about the new job, but excited at the same time.

[unconfirmed_exis...]

Dear CBD,
A war was fought today at the table during breakfast..
I am left wounded from the battle.
And I can't exactly say it was the
cheese sandwich that did the damage.

It was the discussion that took place.
I foolishly started it by just mentioning the topic of race.

She told me she was hurt and though I seemed intact
and acted lightheartedly throughout the discussion/debate...
I was hurt too. The battle of culture and race has left me as the victor
and my enemy more wounded then I. But the deep hole
I feel inside makes me feel as if I've taken as much damage as she did.

Two wounds were inflicted, one from the mere fact the
words I speak and stood up for so boldly hurted her.
The fact that she knew and though she had no proof,
she repeatedly told me something that made it difficult to bear.

She knows about us I think. She told me over and over that
I shouldn't have a boyfriend until high school was over.
I know I need to be strong and it's normal for girls my age to do such a thing.
But I feel shame burning at my face. I dare not talk back
knowing if I did I would be lying. I don't know what to do..

Should I carry on this burden to my mother that made me so happy?
Or should I drop both so that she would disappear from the face of
this planet someday feeling proud of her daughter?!

Oh mom, I love you.. I love you.. I hate myself so much for doing this to you.
I love you.. I always will. I'm sorry for doing this to you.
But this is a secret I have to keep, but I promise one day to make everything right.
Bear with me. Just a bit longer. You don't know how much
it hurts me just seeing the person I cherish hurt.