Your opinions?? Options

[misfit]

Ok I just found out my boyfriends friend,who is a girl,has been saying shit behind my ack,not to him though.She said(not to me, i was told this and i have proof that she actually did say it)..anyway she said that my bf's mum doesn't like me,that he's mum wishes he wasnt with someone who has a million problems & that she was dissapointed when she met me & wishes that my bf and the other girl were together instead. She also said that I have anxiety attacks for attention and all this other shit. I havent been in a good way lately, so naturally, I didnt take it all to well. I rang my boyfriend crying. He says he doesn't know what she is on about but none of what she said is true. And I said so you're going to keep been friends with someone who upset your girlfriend and betrayed her?And he goes im not going to lose a good friend over it. I wasn't expecting him to, but I thought he'd atleast stand up for me and tell her off? But instead it's like he defended her and got mad at me and told me to ignore it and that the other girl was just being ridiculous. Then he text messages me saying "I have spoken 2 her before and she said sorry and that she didnt mean to course shit she was just talking to that girl about her problems and over exagerated things and she said about she didnt mean it and shes sorry now,im not going to lose a friend over it good night"


Sorry but I dont get it. He's other friend said im shit once,he then yelled at his friend and didnt talk to him for two weeks. Yet it's like what his so called friend has said,is nothing?Fair enough eh doesnt wanna lose a friend but what he's gonna let her get away with it?People have said she must just be jelous,but I dont see how, she's in love with this other guy,she's obsessed with him. And my boyfriend wouldn't touch her with a 10 foot pole. She's very unattractive btw. And she also sent me a message saying half of what I said to you isn't true just so you know...

I mean wtf did I do to her?And I had spoken to my bfs mum about it and she said,i've never said that and i dont know where she has pulled that from. I thought he's mum would be like WHAT?? I dunno maybe I just see things different,maybe my boyfriend doesnt want to put up with this shit, but im upset and she doesn't deserve to get away with it, coz sorry doesn't cut it after what she's made up. Next time she could just do it all again and she would be the reason my boyfriend and I are fighting, again.

His sister said that he likes to avoid conflict but I dunno, I know he's really tired lately,but it's like he defended her and said she's always there for him and shit and got mad at me...

I can't win.Opinions?

[*Uronacid*]

You can win, but you can't win if you bring it up in all the wrong ways...

And I said so you're going to keep been friends with someone who upset your girlfriend and betrayed her?

This is wrong, very wrong... I mean, cmon... you really expected that! That's so selfish.

I wasn't expecting him to, but I thought he'd atleast stand up for me and tell her off?

Ok, well... that's probably not what he was thinking. Did you convey this to him? Do you expect him to know what you are thinking? I'm sure he didn't get that idea. People do this all the time... I don't mean to be sexist, but I find that girls do it far more often than guys do. I'm not saying guys don't do this, but I am saying that girls are imfamous for it. YOU NEED TO THINK ABOUT THE WORDS THAT ARE COMMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!

Then he text messages me saying "I have spoken 2 her before and she said sorry and that she didnt mean to course shit she was just talking to that girl about her problems and over exagerated things and she said about she didnt mean it and shes sorry now,im not going to lose a friend over it good night"

He did what you said, and what he is saying is probably true. She is sorry, she didn't mean too, and she was only exaggerating because of all the other problems in her life. Keep in mind, it doesn't seem like she's using that as an excuse. She's only stating how she feels. How many times have you had problems in your life stress you out to the piont where you're blowing things out of proportion. I know I have, and although it's not right we all do it at one time or another.

She's very unattractive btw. And she also sent me a message saying half of what I said to you isn't true just so you know...

I mean wtf did I do to her?

You wanted your boyfriend to talk to her about it. He did, and now shes confronting you. Instead of sticking this whole mess on your boyfriend. Maybe you should have confronted her about it in a possitive way.

And I had spoken to my bfs mum about it and she said,i've never said that and i dont know where she has pulled that from. I thought he's mum would be like WHAT??

Maybe if you didn't expect things out of people, you wouldn't be so dissapointed.

Next time she could just do it all again and she would be the reason my boyfriend and I are fighting, again.

She isn't the reason you are fighting with your boyfriend. You're just immature, and it's pretty clear that you need to learn how to deal with conflict and have better communication skills. Hmmm... instead of critisizing you, here:

-http://www.crnhq.org/twelveskills.html
-http://www.impactfactory.com/p/effective_communication_skills_training/issues_1543-2104-80259.html
-http://www.impactfactory.com/p/assertiveness_skills_training_saying_no_too_nice/issues_1258-2103-87908.html
-http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/couples/comm_index.shtml
-http://www.innerbonding.com/index.lasso?did=content&content.category=23&content.subcategory=39