I hate pretending, I know I'm just using her. i need advice. Options

[elaboratedream]

My relationship status right now is sorta weird.
I'm in the middle of this insane love triangle/threesome relationship.

It started off with me and my bf. We were, overall, doing well together. a few times I was pretty sure he was cheating on me, but i cheated on him a few times too (no more than kissing though) but after one of the times i was pretty sure he cheated on me, he asked me for an open relationship. of course I refused. he continued pushing the subject, and two days later i hung out with him, my ex gf, and two bisexual girls I barely knew. to make a long story short, we ended up having a wild orgy. then four days later, one of the girls invited my bf and me over to her house.

things happened, and we decided we should all three go out.
or more, my bf and now gf decided that. i sorta went along with it because i saw a potential gain for me. I knew from the start I didn't care about her.
I knew from the start I was just using her.

because she has a car and a license. Neither I nor my bf have that.

so this way, I can actually hang out with my bf at his house.... I couldnt do that before. because I would always have to have my parents drop me off.

but anyways....

now I'm questioning this whole relationship. I know its not fair to pretend like I love her when I really couldn't care less about her. but more than that, I want her out of the way. I want it to just be me and my bf. I know if I do dump her, it's gonna hurt her, and I might even end up losing my bf. and more than that, I'll lose my form of transportation and entertainment.

I know it sounds aweful.

and I know most of you are going to just say "dump her. its not fair to her."
but you also have to consider how she's going to react to that. this isn't going to work out well either way, but at least like this, she's happy in her ignorance.

what should I do?

[christina lee]

wow.