its all downhill, 5 year relationship Options

[II_noFOREVER]

ive been with chris since the 8th grade and we`ve been together for almost 5 years now. when it`s good, it`s oh so good but when it`s bad, hell breaks open.

it`s weird with us because one day, he`s so committed to us. all he tells me is, "i want to be with you forever. i love you with all my heart. i want to marry you." and the next day, he tells me, "i don`t want to be committed. i don`t want to talk about the future." it hurts me because i love him that much and we`ve been together for 5 years. does he not want to be with me anymore? i don`t understand --- why does he always change his mind? is it something i`m doing? what could i do?

our relationship hasn`t always been the best because we`ve gotten into countless arguments over petty things. now i`m going to go to college in san diego and he`s going to be here in los angeles. i`m planning on coming back every 2 weeks, but i don`t know if it`ll be enough.

i don`t want him to get tired of this "long distance thing" and i don`t want his eyes to wander while i`m away. chris has always been a faithful person and i know he`d never cheat on me. is it wise to keep going with this relationship even though i`ll be a 100 miles away? i feel like i can`t live without him because we`ve been through everything together. what do i do?

help! thanks


EDIT ----
i know that 2 hours isnt as extreme as other long distance relationships :p

but remember that we have been practically neighbors for the past 5 years & its hard to go from that to being in different cities :(

THANKS for all of your advice.

[*Uronacid*]

Look, it's not going to be easy to go from a relationship where you see eachother all the time to a realtionship where you are so distant... I guess I'm getting used to the whole distance thing with Holly, and I guess it's a litte different... I mean, I'm so happy when we accually get to see eachother... man, it's like the best thing ever... *sigh* When I lease it's like the worst thing ever, and it makes me so sad that I have to go that I want to cry, and sometiems I do. O_o I can't imagine what it would be like to spend day after day with her, and then have to leave.... I guess I would be so upset inside. I can barley imagine how scared you feel, but even though I would be upset I would still love her and try to make the best of what we have.

I guess you need to talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel about it, and tell him what you would like to happen. Tell him what your afriad of happening. Tell him how you see things, and give him your perspective. Just be careful not to blame/accuse him of things (it doesn't seem like you know exactly how he feels.).

He may be questioning the relationship because of the long distance thing. If he needs to be in a relationship where his partner is only a short drive away you may have to accept that, but in the same way that you may need to accept that you may need to accept that he may not want to do that. He may want to stay with you through the whole thing. He may just be afraid that you don't want to be in a long distance relationship. It's hard to want something in a relationship when you feel like your partner doesn't want the same thing. So, although it might be difficult, just make sure you're prepared to accept anything that happens.

Love is about doing whats best for people. This means you and your boyfriend. If he doesn't want to be in a long distance relationship then you can't force him to be, and you have to accept that. You have to love him, respect his descition, and allow yourself to move on even though it's the most difficult thing in the world. In just the same way, if he wants to be in a relationship with you, you have to make a descision. You can either accept that and say yes, or decline and say no. He owe's you the same acceptance that you owe him. A relationship is a 50/50 thing. Both of you have to be on the same page about things, and right now... neither of you seem to know how you feel about eachother.

All that said.... YOU NEED TO TALK TO EACHOTHER.