meh. Options

[lovescream]

i have a problem with my family. i think the cause might be my attitude, but i'm really starting to think it's both that and my mom's boyfriend.

they have been dating for about 4-5 years. they have lived together for only about a year now. arrrgh. it's just that.. one minute he can be so nice and spoil me, but the next, he gets me so f**king pissed that i can't even f**king handle what comes out of my mouth.

yeah. he also physically abuses me sometimes. he's done it probably about three or four times in the past 4 years. still, they are painful memories because he said some hurtful things and gave me a lot of f**king bruises. i know it could have been worse, and thank goodness it wasn't.

what pisses me off even more is that my mother had no clue what was going on in any of these fights i had with him. he once threw me out of the house. she came in to get me in about fifteen minutes later. the first f**king thing she asks me was not "are you okay? what happened?" but instead "WHERE DID YOU LEARN HOW TO CURSE LIKE THAT, YOUNG LADY?!!"

jesus f**king christ, mother. jesus.
i sometimes think he has changed her.
[i know that we don't talk like a mother and daughter should conversate.. but she is more than clueless. her best friend knows more about me than SHE does.]

he also compares me to my own grandmother. he always says i'm exactly like her. this pisses me off so damn much because i hate my grandma (it's just not me in the family either; everyone who had lived with her feels the same way). i'm not like her in any way. i know it, even my mom says so. it's just him thinking that.

errm yeah. point is.. i have a problem. i don't know what to do and what's been causing me to be so pissed off. i think it's my mom's bf. i want to tell her to break up with him, but she seems to love him so much, i can't do that to her. she even once asked me if she could marry him. i have to draw the line there.

well.. i'm just so confused and don't know what to do. blehh. i also feel like i need a therapist because i always keep my feelings about him and my family bottled up.


sorry that was so long. =\

[*This Confession*]

Okay, this guy kind of sounds like my dad. He can be so nice one minute and then completely change with the next.

Also if he physically abuses you and hurts you in a verbal and/or physical way then you need to tell someone. Don't be afraid to do so.

http://www.therapistfinder.net/Child-Abuse...Abuse-Laws.html

My mother tried putting charges on my dad for child abuse so really if you have someone come to you about it from child services they just ask you this page of questions and you tell them the truth and they record it down, if the problem isnt really serious then the person that asked all the questions will come see you like once a month for a little while and just ask how things have been.

I'm sure your mother has changed some, and you know you have to remember that everyone is human and they make mistakes. If you want to tell your mother what you think and stuff and you don't want to talk to her face to face about it because she may like just ignore you or not believe you. Write her a letter about it and tell her how you feel and explain how shes changed and how this guy is affecting her. I mean they have been together for a while so its probably a little predictable for her to change, but if she goes to the point of neglecting you then I don't think its exactly a healthy relationship if its going that far to change her.

If you don't like being compared to other people tell him that, Tell him you like to be your own individual and you don't appreciate him comparing you to everyone else. If he doesn't stop start comparing him to people he hates. [Yea you may not want to do that, but do unto others as you would want them do upto you] and by the sounds of it he wants you to do that. And if he doesnt then he needs to go back to elementary school and learn the basic rules of life.



Overall deary, if you really want to get all of this out and open and want her to understand you then you need to speak up. I don't think your mother and her boyfriend should get married now though, not with how its affecting you. I mean you've been with your mother longer then him, you should have a better relationship with her.


I keep all my feelings bottled up as well, probably a lot worse than you do. Just remember also thats theres a brighter side to everything.


I wish you the best as well