Big problem.. so confused.. please help.... Options

[sheilac0825]

Sorry that it's a long story.

Well I met a guy in the club in H.K. at 24/8 night. I'm 17 n he's 18. He studied in UK Bristol, n now he's staying here for summer holiday. We fancied each other, I think it's like love at first sight or what. cuz he's really hot. he's been so sweet to me all the night. yes we did kiss each other n sth like that. n then when i left he asked me to give him my phone no.. well i just cant stop thinking abt him all the night.

then 25/8 was my bday (he knew that), he dated me out for dinner with his frens, he was really sweet that he wrote me a birthday card! We just liked the little couple.I like him lot.
after dinner we went to the bar, but unfortunately, we drunk n we had sex... though I didn't reject him at that time.but now when i think abt this, i felt i was so stupid n cheap..

then my bad dream came, at first i thought we'll be together n became couple. I phoned him the other morning, but then, he didnt answer my call. Even i text him, he never replies.
He called me back at night n gave so many excuses to explain y he didnt answer my call.

26/8 was like that
27/8 he kept ignoring me
28/8 also

he hurted me so bad, I cried. it's just because this is my first time n I'm still a virgin. I was just like a stupid girl.calling him everyday n he never answers..
I feel he dumped me and I was really hurt... I just want to see him again..

n today, 29/8
Finally we came out for dinner again, this time he changed a lot. he didnt held my hands when he saw me. he's so cool n we got nth to say, which is really embarrassing.

we went to the park.n i wanted him to tell me WHAT'S GOING ON these few days.
i had argued with him for a long time. i said i'll wait him. becuz i really like him..

then he told me that it's all becuz he had to go back to Bristol at 5, Sept.
and next time when he comes back it is X'mas holiday.
he don't think our love will last.. so he chose not to answer my call.
he wants us to stay friends.
he said it's better for us to be friends. it'll be more comfortable.
he said: " Look at urself, I didnt care u for a few days in HK, then u was like this,
how abt when i go back to UK? i wont have much time to call u everyday.
it's better if we stay friends now. If we still like each other when i come back at X'mas, we'll be together, OK? "


Sigh, at last i agreed with him..n he seemed relief
he promised me that he wont ignore my call anymore.
actually i thought he's irresponsible.. but what can i do?
I dont want to give up our relationship..
but i dont want myself being so annoying...
i just don't know what to do.......
can u guys help...

[seremela_culnamo]

First things first - you guys met at a c-l-u-b. It's like the worst place ever if you are looking for romance or anything like that. People say it all the time and when I thought about it, the statement is so true [I don't go clubbing]. Sure, there may have been incidents when two married couples met there, but the chances are very slim. Even if that does happen, love won't go viola! and arrive at their doorstep the next morning that they wake up! Love is patient and if two people start hooking up right at the start and don't mind showing PDA, then it's obvious it's not meant to be. After all, they don't know who each another is.

Another thing is the fact that he's just staying there for the summer. I don't know who this guy is and whether or not he's a nice guy, but the chances of him just finding a summer time fling is highly possible. He knows he's going to leave anyway so why not just have some fun and then drop whoever he finds like a potato once he's gone?

I'm sorry that I sound really rude, but I'm just using common sense. Most guys tend to be jerks and would use you. A guy actually told me that guys like it when girls show signs of weakness 'cause when they do, they abuse it. Even he admitted that guys are jerks and once they see that a girl is falling head over heels for them, it makes them feel superior and such. & I know that for a fact 'cause I was given false hope for 9 months with a guy that became really good friends with me within less than a week. We weren't dating, but he knew that I really liked him, and he abused it. How did it end? He goes online the day before the last day of school [we graduated this year], and shows a picture of him and his girlfriend eating each another's face out. I have never felt so emotionally hurt and wanting him to just go straight to hell. So did a lot of people apparently, and not just because of me.

So girl, even though he knows about your weakness towards him, don't let him get too you. It sucks to make the wrong decision to the extent to lose your virginity, but people make mistakes. You will only become stronger through this and more maturity, then you can shine and show the world that nobody can knock you down anymore =]