When a child is compared to another.... Options

[Mistress Bags]

I know I'm older and don't live with my mom, but this is something that always held me back as a child, and something that pisses me off to this day.

I hate it when a parent compares her child to somebody else's child. For example: "Ashley, why can't you make better grades? Mrs. Thompson's daughter Lily makes straight A's, and she's not remarkably smart. I don't think you're trying hard enough."

Or..

"Ashley, why can't you keep your room immaculate? Mrs. Thompson NEVER has to tell HER children to clean. You're such a bad child."

People make mistakes. Furthermore, children are not even close to perfect. They're growing into an individual. Instead of comparing their faults to another's strengths, why not be more understanding? If you want your child to make better grades or to clean his/her room more often, try to find a more positive way to do it.

Did anybody have to deal with this when growing up? How do you feel about it?

[juliar]

i think my mom tries not to do that, but once in a while she does it. she mentions that so and so gets great grades and never goes on the computer and all that, and even though she never says "why can't you be more like her?", i know that's what she means. but when i tell her to stop comparing me, she denies that she did, which i hate.

but this kid i know who went to my elementary school hates my guts, and i think it's because his mother always compared him to me.