When a child is compared to another.... Options

[Mistress Bags]

I know I'm older and don't live with my mom, but this is something that always held me back as a child, and something that pisses me off to this day.

I hate it when a parent compares her child to somebody else's child. For example: "Ashley, why can't you make better grades? Mrs. Thompson's daughter Lily makes straight A's, and she's not remarkably smart. I don't think you're trying hard enough."

Or..

"Ashley, why can't you keep your room immaculate? Mrs. Thompson NEVER has to tell HER children to clean. You're such a bad child."

People make mistakes. Furthermore, children are not even close to perfect. They're growing into an individual. Instead of comparing their faults to another's strengths, why not be more understanding? If you want your child to make better grades or to clean his/her room more often, try to find a more positive way to do it.

Did anybody have to deal with this when growing up? How do you feel about it?

[doom_diver]

On this topic, I agree with Spiritual Winged Aura:

When your parents say that, its just that they want you to get better, which is beneficial for you. Their intention of the comparing is for the good of you : no parents will try to make children a worse person.

So why are you blaming your parents? They are doing it for your good, so start improving yourself.

Dont use that 'I dont give a sh*t, I dont care' mentality. It just means you arent trying to improve yourself and cant be bothered. Dont keep blaming your parents for comparing, why not go improve yourself and make her say how good you are compare to others? Blaming your parents is useless, go blame yourself:

Good: "Yes, my grades seem to be slipping, I have to study harder"
Bad: "Shut up mum, I dont give about my grades!"

Good: "Yes, I should give more respect to my parents"
Bad: "F*** off, b****"

Yes, no one is perfect, but you should at least try.

That BS mentality will get you nowhere, and frankly if you keep it, I dont believe you will achieve much in life. (Unless someone can prove it to me that that mentality can)

[snak3y3z1001]

On this topic, I agree with Spiritual Winged Aura:

When your parents say that, its just that they want you to get better, which is beneficial for you. Their intention of the comparing is for the good of you : no parents will try to make children a worse person.

So why are you blaming your parents? They are doing it for your good, so start improving yourself.

Dont use that 'I dont give a sh*t, I dont care' mentality. It just means you arent trying to improve yourself and cant be bothered. Dont keep blaming your parents for comparing, why not go improve yourself and make her say how good you are compare to others? Blaming your parents is useless, go blame yourself:

Good: "Yes, my grades seem to be slipping, I have to study harder"
Bad: "Shut up mum, I dont give about my grades!"

Good: "Yes, I should give more respect to my parents"
Bad: "F*** off, b****"

Yes, no one is perfect, but you should at least try.

That BS mentality will get you nowhere, and frankly if you keep it, I dont believe you will achieve much in life. (Unless someone can prove it to me that that mentality can)

In my honest opinion, I dont believe comparing your child to another is a good way to "motivate" them. To me they're putting them down. My mom did that to me all the time when I was still in school. I would bust my ass in school yet I can never make here happy.

[demolished]

In my honest opinion, I dont believe comparing your child to another is a good way to "motivate" them. To me they're putting them down. My mom did that to me all the time when I was still in school. I would bust my ass in school yet I can never make here happy.

No, no, no.

It's not about your parent. It's about you. Yes, it's you! It's up to you whether you want to be improved. A lot of children took it as a discouragement because they think "negatively" and bad about their parents, but you know what? You can be better than yourself. It doesn't matter what your parent think of you. As long, they support you in some ways.


This is a real world. You will have to face the obstacle. Something good will come out of it.