When a child is compared to another.... Options

[Mistress Bags]

I know I'm older and don't live with my mom, but this is something that always held me back as a child, and something that pisses me off to this day.

I hate it when a parent compares her child to somebody else's child. For example: "Ashley, why can't you make better grades? Mrs. Thompson's daughter Lily makes straight A's, and she's not remarkably smart. I don't think you're trying hard enough."

Or..

"Ashley, why can't you keep your room immaculate? Mrs. Thompson NEVER has to tell HER children to clean. You're such a bad child."

People make mistakes. Furthermore, children are not even close to perfect. They're growing into an individual. Instead of comparing their faults to another's strengths, why not be more understanding? If you want your child to make better grades or to clean his/her room more often, try to find a more positive way to do it.

Did anybody have to deal with this when growing up? How do you feel about it?

[mahokaida]

My parents have never compared me to another person my age, but they compare their younger selves to me. Like, "I never did that when I was younger". Stuff like that. I don't think they goal of the parents is to ruin your self-worth, I think it's more reverse psychology. Maybe they think that if you tell them that they were such and such, that you'll want to be like that so you can prove you're better. At least, my parents would do something like that...they're sneaky.