Internet friends... Options

[hiromi]

okay... so,

I'm the type of person who joins alot of forums, talk on them for a very long time, but I never get recognized for anything. Not even in a small forum. I've joined one forum for 2 years now, and even now, I haven't made any friendships with anybody there (other than one person, but we never really talk).

In cB I've always noticed all these friendships between other users, and I'm wondering 'how do these people get so many friends online?'. I mean, everybody knows each others name, it's like as if cB is some type of village, and I'm that one person whose just there, never really noticed.

Now I'm not saying people IGNORE me or anything, but I feel that I should take the initiative to try and be friends with more people in all the forums I've joined. I mean, quite a few people in some of my forums ask things about me, since I'm known as that 'cute japanese girl' or 'that girl who provides links to old topics in case a new repeated one was made'. It's not that I feel uncomfortable about it, it's just that I never really think I'm that interesting.

I mean basically, my life very dull. Conflict rarely happens, and I end up talking about events that happen in real life, and sometimes, I feel that I'm talking about myself too much, tuning them out. most of the time they just say 'lol' or 'mhmm i see' as filler (and I really cannot stand when people do filler talk)

so my question is:
What do you think I should do in order to be more internet friend 'friendly'?

oh yeah, and thank you for all who bothered to read everything. I truly appreciate it.

[AngelinaTaylor]

Why does it matter so much? I'm just curious.. since it's the internet and not real life.

[oXMuhNirvanaXo]

Why does it matter so much? I'm just curious.. since it's the internet and not real life.

It's nice to have online friends.. I have many thanks to the chat! :-)
I feel that I know more people on here thanks to cb chat.

I love that chat.

[AngelinaTaylor]

It's nice to have online friends.. I have many thanks to the chat! :-)
I feel that I know more people on here thanks to cb chat.

I love that chat.

Yeah, I know what you mean - I have "online" friends too, but it's not really that important to me..

[*Statues/Shadows*]

Yeah, I know what you mean - I have "online" friends too, but it's not really that important to me..

If she's made it two years without begging for friends, it must not be that big of a deal.

Also, I think people don't give the internet enough credit at the risk of sounding too nerdy or whatever. It's still really hypocritical to spend your free time online and talk to people and then decide that it's the least important thing ever when convenient. And no, to an extent, it doesn't matter, but you're still talking to real people. I've met people from here. Not to say we're great friends now, but I know they exist and aren't completely fake. Plus, I've maintained my relationship with my best friend sheerly through the internet and the occasional phone call (well, plus the two times we visited each other..but that wouldn't have been worth it if we didn't keep in touch) for over three years. I'd say that's something.

Plus, it is nice to have people to talk to who can't spread rumors or make copletely biased judgements on everything you say. I don't expect to have life-long friendships with people on here, but they're fun to talk to, and that's what counts.


Anyway, moving on.

I have never been a chat person. Cannot stand it. I've gone through a couple of (very, very short) phases where I'd go in occasionally, but it's never been that fun for me. I'm much more interesting when I'm not trying to squeeze random statements into some general conversation that may even be overlapping something else. However, I have online friends, or at least people I enjoy talking to here or on other forums. This could largely be because I talk a lot on here (hence giant post count), but I wouldn't even have that if it weren't for people I enjoy.

Essentially, you generally get noticed (in a good way) if you have a tasteful and intriguing avatar or whatever, you make intelligent comments on things, you make your opinions known so that people can either refute or agree with you, and attempt to reply to people's posts about how they share the same interests as you. I'm typically drawn towards people who make witty comments, state their opinions well, and have good taste in music, etc etc. It's all a matter of responding to people's posts and having them respond back. If you get involved with whatever cb drama happens to be going on at a particular moment, it's good to PM people about what;s going on in order to complain or something. I don't know. I'm trying to figure out what I do.
The thing about the internet is that it really is a lot easier not to feel overly shy and self concious than elsewhere, which means warming up to people a lot easier. Mostly, there's no need to hold back very much, or else no, you won't get noticed.

[AngelinaTaylor]

Also, I think people don't give the internet enough credit at the risk of sounding too nerdy or whatever. It's still really hypocritical to spend your free time online and talk to people and then decide that it's the least important thing ever when convenient. And no, to an extent, it doesn't matter, but you're still talking to real people. I've met people from here. Not to say we're great friends now, but I know they exist and aren't completely fake. Plus, I've maintained my relationship with my best friend sheerly through the internet and the occasional phone call (well, plus the two times we visited each other..but that wouldn't have been worth it if we didn't keep in touch) for over three years. I'd say that's something.

Plus, it is nice to have people to talk to who can't spread rumors or make copletely biased judgements on everything you say. I don't expect to have life-long friendships with people on here, but they're fun to talk to, and that's what counts.

Meh, I understand all of that and I understand that people have long-lasting friendships over the net, but it's just not THAT important to me. Sure it's fun and all (I have quite a few net-friends), but real-life friends just have more significance for me. I don't know about other people - you're different. Is that so terrible? And by the way, people online also spread rumours and make completely biased judgements. That junk's everywhere.

[*Statues/Shadows*]

Meh, I understand all of that and I understand that people have long-lasting friendships over the net, but it's just not THAT important to me. Sure it's fun and all (I have quite a few net-friends), but real-life friends have more significance for me. I don't know about other people - you're different. And by the way, people online also spread rumours and make completely biased judgements. That junk's everywhere.

Oh, no, I agree with you completely. Offline friends are quite obviously a good deal more important, and I never really went out of my way to make online friends either- it just happened. Hell, I never meant to post on cB, really. I just wanted to become an official member for the visitor logger, but I got addicted.

At the risk of contradictiing myself, I am very well aware that people spread rumors online (and of course judgements are biased, I actually just phrased that really badly and now I'm not entirely sure what I meant), but as we've established, offline things are of a far greater significance, so it bothers me a lot more to be thought of a particular way in reality, whereas here it's just funny. What i meant mainly was that I can tell someone here what's going on with me, and it stays there, but if I put it on my xanga, my friends are likely to be much more obnoxious about it.

I really just hate to see people's problems being belittled when they're actually not completely stupid.