GROWINGG .. up and understanding friendship, ...the dayS Options

[demolished]

Through many years passed in life, I always thought friends were totally pointless. I didn’t understand the meaning of friends at all. I was alone and bored as always. The days in my kindergarten years made an impact on me. I was only a lonely child who tried to make a friend on the first day of school. Sadly, this dude didn’t care about me. He suddenly ran off to play with other toddlers. I even asked him, “can I play, please?” many time. He didn’t care at all.

At that foolish point of my childhood, I thought I could just be alone. I no longer care about making friends or tried hanging out with them. Every recess, I sat down, eating, and did nothing. I was satisfied with it. Why? Friendships mean nothing to me which made me antisocial.

Through the years, I became a pessimistic person who thinks of negative things. I thought everyone’s worthless.

I had a horrible start in my childhood. My family made me really stupid and discourages me big time. “ you’re stupid Steven”, “all Steven’s are so stupid”, “ha-ha you’re going to fail school”, “you’re a dumbass”, “you’re never go to college”, “Steven is going to fail his mission project”, “ you’re pointless”, “ you’re a loser”, and “shut the f**k up, man”.

With all that negative influence and thoughts enter in my head, I became very self-conscious about myself. I avoid many things that I should be doing. The only fun thing was school teacher. That’s their job as an elementary school staff, right?

When I hit 4th grade and moved to a new school. Life was better. I made only one friend. Haha. He was just like me, a loner. Fascinating, eh? I was really really really glad to make at least a friend but … I took disadvantage of him. As I mention, I always thought friends were totally pointless and I don’t understand the meaning of friendship.

He was like my best friend until we hit 7th grade. The age when puberty occurred, mood swings happens and stupidity wins. We separated because fight over something stupid that he did. He copy and paste my entire friend’s screenames from the AIM profile username tracker (it was known as, subprofile.com). I was really surprise and shocked.
Then, we stop hanging out. I left him alone all by himself. He was too different for me. He wasn’t very open to new things. I was totally the opposite of him. We used to be the same. I guessed, he never grew his personality and lifestyle.

Anyways, I hanged out with another group of friends … crappy friends. In 8th grade, I wasn’t involved with them anymore. I was involved with certain mature friends in ELD class (English language development). I began to take friendship seriously. I see everyone having such a great time with friends that made them happy. I read people’s xanga, they loved their best friend and all that junkies.

I admired these people. Somehow, I felt, “they were better than me, having a better time then I did” … and I end up, being depressed, suffering, and sadistic about everything. I felt truly alone and crying at home.

Until I hit my freshman year. THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE ! I met more people, got to know them more, and became better friends with very old classmate. Basically, I was extremely open to many people. They were pretty dam cool and awesome. i hanged out ... ALOT, well, not thaaaat much.


i was happier. i finally understand what was friendship. i thought about them too. We did the most stupid things ever, went out to eat, holiday party, enjoy pissing off an adults, weird things, we were very immature but we had a lot of fun.


At the end, i was proud of myself. I stay away and lost contact with all my shitty friends. i tried my best to involve with people … then I became really good friends with them. it was really hard. it took alot of guts and courage to get what i desired the most.




When did you start appreciating friends ALOT? tell us your story!

[*lolita kitty*]

Ha, good topic.

I have a similar story to yours. I was really comfortable where I had lived (Baton Rouge, LA) all through elementary school. I had alot of friends, and I was the straight "A" good girl. But about 3 months before the 5th grade ended, my dad got married to a woman in California, and moved us all over there so we could live together.

For the last few months of fifth grade, I was pretty much the freak of the school. I had absolutely no friends, because nobody wanted to talk to me. They all made fun of me and called the the "ugly Louisiana girl". They told me I had ugly clothes, ugly hair, ugly teeth, and that I was too skinny. It was only a short few months, but it felt like forever.

When middle school started, I had a hard time making friends. Our local middle school was where all the gangster wannabe kids went, and I was always getting made fun of by them. It was always "you hella pale!" or "dayuuuuuuummmm you's UGLY!!!!!!" or "DAMN BITCH DO YOU EVER EAT???", and especially "you'se a hella dumb racist white bitch Ill bet you don't like black people huh? f**k YOU!!!!". I was in that awkward stage of my life where I was skinny, had a big head, big feet, crooked teeth, and I was still short. I was made fun of for so many things, and it really brought down my self esteem.

During these two years, I continuously tried changing myself to fit in with the "cool kids". I would spend all of my money on baby phat shirts and phat farm shoes, and put my hair up in a ponytail every day. It wasn't me at all, but I thought that it would make me look cool.

I ended up surviving the 6th and 7th grade with the few friends I had, and switched schools in the 8th grade. It was a preforming arts school that I had auditioned for, and I was very excited that they had accepted me. By this time, I was nothing like the girl I was when I first moved to California. My hair was alot longer, I had straight teeth (thanks to braces), I had gotten alot taller, and my style had changed alot.

That was the year I started to appreciate friends. I made so many friends at my new school, and we all got along so well. They were girls just like me, who I could be myself around. I was really glad that I had gone to that school, it was such a good change for me.

Yikes, I wrote alot more than I though I would