Is it worth speaking,, or should i rest in agony 'till it's gone? Options

[iminlovewithTomD...]

Alright... how to explaiiiiiiiiinnn...

I really really like this guy (named Will), and I have liked him for *counts* 16 months or so... and we used to like be good friends, but then he started getting all weirded out because he knows I like him... Then he sorta just stopped letting me be by him, and he got all annoyed and told me to like leave him alone and stuff... so I went through a whole suicidal phase, and now I'm out of that whole phase, but he does't understand that... and I think he still talks behind my back to his friends about me being suicidal and shit...

And so he's like really really mean to me now, and I can't stop replaying all the mean things he says to me. Last night I even had a dream that he was being mean. All I really want is for me and him to be able to be friends again and stuff, but he doesn't understand, so he just goes and acts like an absolute bitch to me, and I can't take it anymore. So I really wanted to let him know, but I don't know if it'll work, because I explained to him that I'm not like suicidal anymore or anything, but he didn't listen to me - he didn't reply (and yeah, it was like 2 weeks ago that I told him that). So I'm really confused..

To speak, or not to speak... because I don't want him to just keep on being this way... it really really hurts. I don't wanna have to let go... I mean it's just not fair!! I've accepted the fact that I'm never going to "get anywhere" with him, so why can't he and his lazy ass just accept the fact that I care about him!? Ughh..

[iminlovewithTomD...]

Lol, I'm going to copy the first part and post it as a comment on his Xanga...

Anyhow... I have a lot of friends that are girls.. wel.. not like an overflowing amount... but you know. But there are only like 2 or 3 that are actually alike to me in more than 5-6 ways... And then the only person that I feel is able to be my best friend lives forever away, goes to a completely different school, and half of the time is grounded from the phone... I don't know... and then the 2 or 3 that are like me in more than 5-6 ways are all the tightest of friends between themselves, so it's hard for me to fit..

As for finding new people at different places (like church or softball) I'm too shy! My social skills really need work... I mean when I'm with people I know I'm waaay outgoing, but when it comes to new people it's just like, "ehh what are you thinking about me right now?" And I'm really bad at starting conversations and whatnot.. so yeah... maybe I should start a topic about being able to start conversations with new people... i'll search for it first..