Long distance: Making it work, going to college Options

[anoniez]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 9 months now, I'm a senior in high school and he's a junior. We're both quite committed and I was wondering about the college long-distance thing. Neither of us want to end it just because I'll be going to college next year, but it's quite a long distance - I'll probably be going to Emory in Atlanta, Georgia- and we're both in Texas right now. It's not like he could drive to see me on the weekends or anything.

On the one hand, I don't want to miss out on anything in college because I'm still tied up back home. Both of us are quite unhappy even over short separations like vacation over winter break and this invariably results in a couple arguments as both of us feel neglected by the other. On the other hand, though, I've been through a really bad breakup before and it almost crushed me, and that relationship had only been 3 months and I hadn't cared for the guy nearly as much as I do for my current bf. I'm afraid that if we break up now I'll really regret it - to tell the truth, I wouldn't mind marrying him (he feels the same). Although of course we aren't considering it that seriously, it's still a nice dream to have =)

One thing I was considering was to transfer to Rice University sophomore year (he'd probably have no trouble getting in next year) and we could both go together. I don't really want to direct where I'm going to college just for him, but with Rice it's a different situation cause I've wanted to go there ever since I was little anyway.

I know what you guys are gonna say: break up with him now, start over in college, etc etc. But I really feel like I have a chance with this guy. So anyone have any tips on how to make it work?

[12agon]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 9 months now, I'm a senior in high school and he's a junior. We're both quite committed and I was wondering about the college long-distance thing. Neither of us want to end it just because I'll be going to college next year, but it's quite a long distance - I'll probably be going to Emory in Atlanta, Georgia- and we're both in Texas right now. It's not like he could drive to see me on the weekends or anything.

On the one hand, I don't want to miss out on anything in college because I'm still tied up back home. Both of us are quite unhappy even over short separations like vacation over winter break and this invariably results in a couple arguments as both of us feel neglected by the other. On the other hand, though, I've been through a really bad breakup before and it almost crushed me, and that relationship had only been 3 months and I hadn't cared for the guy nearly as much as I do for my current bf. I'm afraid that if we break up now I'll really regret it - to tell the truth, I wouldn't mind marrying him (he feels the same). Although of course we aren't considering it that seriously, it's still a nice dream to have =)

One thing I was considering was to transfer to Rice University sophomore year (he'd probably have no trouble getting in next year) and we could both go together. I don't really want to direct where I'm going to college just for him, but with Rice it's a different situation cause I've wanted to go there ever since I was little anyway.

I know what you guys are gonna say: break up with him now, start over in college, etc etc. But I really feel like I have a chance with this guy. So anyone have any tips on how to make it work?

My boyfriend and I have the same problem except that hes going to college in wyoming and ill be going in virginia. Long distance realtionships just dont work out for most people because someone says things like how they dont want to "miss out" on anything because they are tied down to someone they will hardly get to see. Im lucky, my parents can afford to fly him out once or twice every month. Other then that it woud be a bad idea to transfer schools- he might begin to feel that you are putting too much pressure on him. I look at my boyfriend and I know I am meant to be with him- even if we broke up or seperated for however long I know we would always come back to eachother and Im willing to deal with that. If you feel like that too, even though its hard, it will just work out no matter what. If it dosent thats that and there is no telling what will happen. As far as "tips to make it work" goes, no such thing. Although, you could use a safe word- I have one with my boyfriend and if one of us uses it no matter how upset we are or whatever we just shut up and listen to what the other has to say. Thats all Ive got. Sorry if that dosent help.