Exploiting Personal Business, Is telling everything to a close girlfriend too much? Options

[msladyliberty]

Hello everyone here at createblog...I'm having a small crisis.

My boyfriend of 3+ years does not appreciate my contribution of our personal business to my close friends.

Now, I know I'm not supposed to do this...but I need to hear other opinions from other people. So here goes...

Like most girls, we tell each other everything about our boyfriends. We say good and bad things about them. And sometimes, when we're in a dilema, we talk about it and ask each other for help. Such as: over-reacting over something or some needed advice on how to approach the problem.

And I know sometimes, us girls share our little complaints with complete strangers. Like little complaints such as: "Men are so ignorant, they only understand food and football!" like that kind of stuff.

My question is...

Is it so wrong to talk about your relationship issues with close friends?

Does EVERYTHING have to be told, even if it's over spilled milk?

Do you really care about what your significant other's friends think about you, that you hate it when he/she tells their friends all about yer business?

I'm the type that sets up the scenario and asks a girlfriend whether or not I was wrong or right, if I was over-reacting, or how should I talk to him? So I tell a girlfriend, whether or not the situation is so small, that I should get over it!

Sometimes, a different perspective helps. And talking it out and hearing a different opinion or keeping an advice in mind is needed for better understanding.

But of course, I tell only the friends that know my man personally as well. That way, there's no bias opinion.

My man says he's never done this to me...but HE SO HAS! I know because his friends say, "I heard you are 'this and that.'" or "you know about that one time ya'll had that thing goin' on? yea I knew about that one!" you know what I mean????!!!

I don't know if I'm trippin'...but I apologized for being an effin' woman for talking it over with my girlfriends. He openly knows I do it...so I don't know why he's so self-conscious about what my girls think...when they evidently think he's still a great guy...just not perfect! But who is? Whatever I say does not impair their impression of him.

So what do you guys think? Is it really wrong that I tell my girlfriends? If it is...tell me now, and be honest! 'Cause I think he's wanting to break up with me over this. So don't sugar-coat your opinions...'cause I want to know how I can improve...if I need it.

Thanks you guys

[Chii]

I think he's upset because he doesn't understand why you would need a second opinion or talk about your relationship to others. Maybe he wishes that you'd talk to him about your problems instead. Or, he could be wondering if you're just making him out to be the bad guy and making yourself high and mighty or the victim. I know what that's like, my ex twisted everything I said and made himself the victim. In all his away messages and his xanga he said all this crap and aired all my personal things. Maybe your boyfriend is afraid that you're doing that, telling people private stuff.

Or, maybe he doesn't understand that girls are very open and close with their girlfriends. Guys don't really talk to their friends about their relationships. The only thing they talk about is what the girl is like, is she attractive, where he met her, etc. I don't think they delve in too deeply.

I don't think that it's wrong of you to tell your girlfriends about your relationship but I think it might be wrong to tell them everything. You should keep some of it to yourself so you two have something that's just for the two of you. Maybe that's what upsets him, with your girlfriends knowing everything it's kind of like he has a relationship with you and all of them.

Or maybe, he feels that you should be able to make your own decisions and choices in the relationship. Like, instead of running off to your friends for advice, you come up with a decision or choice all on your own. He could also be afraid that eventually instead of thinking for yourself, you might be thinking "what would so and so do in this situation?" or "what would so and so do?"

Or maybe he's afraid that someday, you'll just run directly to your friends after a disagreement you had with him instead of talking to him about it.

There are many possibilites, talk to him about it. Ask him why he thinks it's wrong.