Compulsive Cheater?, looking for advice.. Options

[[Mediocre]Artist]

It really bugs me to have to ask cB for help, but I can't ask my girls and I certainly can't ask my boyfriend.

I've dated this guy for two and a half years. He knows me inside out, accepts my flaws, helped me when I was suicidal, got me through cutting, stays up with me at night. He's my best friend, without question. Last year I cheated on his with someone I knew. The guy I cheated with was a friend, but I wasn't emotionally attached. I started to thing that I wasn't in love with my boyfriend anymore. The combined things put us in a bit of a fight and after two weeks of being apart I realized I was miserable without him. I was lonely and became completely cold hearted. Just honestly cruel and icy to the point that even I was shocked at myself. Plus I realized I was in love with my ex so we talked a lot and I begged and pleaded (oh so humbling) and we got back together. He forgave me (in fact he's friends with the guy) but I've never forgiven myself.

So its a year later. My eye started wondering towards another guy (vaguely considered a friend to me) after I had two dreams about cheating with him (while one of my friends watched and smiled no less ) and just last night I had another dream about cheating on my boyfriend with some other guy (who I don't even like!). I don't know whats going on with me anymore. Is this a phase or something? I'm really starting to worry about myself.

[*Uronacid*]

alright, ill give you my best advice, and ill give you an interpretation of your dream... XD

here's my advice, infact, im going through some similar situations

If you do love your man and you dont want to cheat on him:

- Talk to him (your boyfriend)... no matter how hard it is, tell him what you're thinking and why you're thinking about it (If you don't know why you're thinking about it. Think back to when the thoughts first occured.). Be mindful of the words that you choose, and why you chose them. Make sure he understands that you're telling him because you don't want to cheat on him.

- Talk to the guy you're thinking about foolin with. Make sure he understands that you don't want to fool with him, and that you still want to be friends (if you do). If he thinks that you do want to fool around with you, then he will probobly make the situation more difficult than it already is... and believe me, that's not what you want. If he doesn't respect your wants and needs then you need to stop chillin with that dude.

- learn to avoid situations that make you feel the desire to cheat or fool around (example: if being alone in the same room with this guy gives you this desire, you probobly shouldn't put yourself in that situation.). If you don't avoid these situations, you're just going to be making the situation extremely difficult for yourself. You personally know your limits and what makes you snap. DON'T PUT YOURSELF INTO SITUATIONS THAT WILL MAKE YOU SNAP!

My interpretation of your dream:
When you have sex with people other than your partner in deams it generally means that something is missing. Maybe you feel unappriciated or that something is missing from your relationship. Many times this will occur when you feel that your partner isnt't meeting one of your needs in a relationship. It probobly doesn't mean that you want to cheat on him, but only that you're looking for this need in someone else. Also, these dreams are common if your at a point where you are questioning/narrowing down what your looking for in the type of person that you want to spend your life with. Either way, you are missing something that you don't feel your boyfriend is giving you at this piont.
The fact that you know who you're having sex with in the dream says that you see this missing piece within the personality of this guy that you're thinking about cheating on him with.
The thing with your friend looking at you could mean a variety of different things. It may be just that your friend is happy that you have finnaly found what you wanted or needed in a relationship.

To make this dream go away you need to talk to your boyfriend about what your wants and needs are and help him meet them.