Compulsive Cheater?, looking for advice.. Options

[[Mediocre]Artist]

It really bugs me to have to ask cB for help, but I can't ask my girls and I certainly can't ask my boyfriend.

I've dated this guy for two and a half years. He knows me inside out, accepts my flaws, helped me when I was suicidal, got me through cutting, stays up with me at night. He's my best friend, without question. Last year I cheated on his with someone I knew. The guy I cheated with was a friend, but I wasn't emotionally attached. I started to thing that I wasn't in love with my boyfriend anymore. The combined things put us in a bit of a fight and after two weeks of being apart I realized I was miserable without him. I was lonely and became completely cold hearted. Just honestly cruel and icy to the point that even I was shocked at myself. Plus I realized I was in love with my ex so we talked a lot and I begged and pleaded (oh so humbling) and we got back together. He forgave me (in fact he's friends with the guy) but I've never forgiven myself.

So its a year later. My eye started wondering towards another guy (vaguely considered a friend to me) after I had two dreams about cheating with him (while one of my friends watched and smiled no less ) and just last night I had another dream about cheating on my boyfriend with some other guy (who I don't even like!). I don't know whats going on with me anymore. Is this a phase or something? I'm really starting to worry about myself.

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

Since you've been noticing other guys you're being reminded of when you cheated on him. Since you haven't forgiven yourself, you're still feeling guilty and your subconscious is playing on that while your asleep.


The only solution would really be to let it go. Stop punishing yourself, and forgive your mistake. Your boyfriend has, and you've put yourself through enough with the guilt and dreams. Let it go, im pretty sure the dreams should stop and the guilt will be gone if you truly forgive yourself completely. As for actually cheating on him in real life, i can't help you there I can only say is you control what you do. And if you don't want to cheat on him then dont.