Makeup Can Affect Life |
 May 4 2006, 12:07 AM
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#1
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 Hello There.  Group: Member Posts: 1,572 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 88,673  |
The Cheerleader Chelsea spends most of the day puckering her lips as she replenishes her pink shiny lip gloss between classes. Her makeup kit full of lipsticks, eyeliner, eye shadow, gloss, and mascara takes up half her locker. She prefers going on a shopping spree at Sephora, her temple, rather than finishing her five paragraph essay that’s due the next day. This is the same girl who will end up a single mom covered in skin rashes living in a one room apartment with two rowdy, studious children.
This is a paragraph that i was writing. so yea. |
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May 4 2006, 11:57 PM
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#2
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 hello : ) Group: Official Member Posts: 4,227 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 13,139 |
^That's what I was thinking...
Uh it's okay I guess. I think it should be expanded on or more details or imagery should be added. It seems kind of weakly written if that makes sense. Still good basic ideas. |
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Posts in this topic
priyas Makeup Can Affect Life May 4 2006, 12:07 AM
KissMe2408 I don't know if I really agree with that, lol.... May 4 2006, 01:04 AM priyas its supposed to be an exaggeration. she's sing... May 4 2006, 01:27 AM starlette WHERES MY FREE IPOD?!?!?!
Great. I... May 4 2006, 01:38 AM KissMe2408 Oh I see...
that's why you did the whole ... May 4 2006, 07:22 PM
illumineering I like the first two sentences. The third one doe... May 5 2006, 10:55 AM |
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