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Createblog Diary, Version 8.0
*stephinika*
post Mar 26 2006, 03:27 PM
Post #1





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originally started by faithin_felix.

You guys know how it works.




Dear CB diary,

Wow, it's been awhile since I've been in here. Europe was absolutely amazing, but I'm sad to be home. I missed my own bed and Adrian but other than that...I want to go back. I miss it so much. Now that I'm home, there's so much stress and so many stupid things to do...ugh, its driving me crazy. Fiddler practice yesterday was so frustrating because people are so stupid. At least I saw Adrian. That was absolutely wonderful. I love just being with him. I missed him so much. It made me so happy that he came to the airport to see me when I got back. It was a lovely surprise. It really was. Got sick when I got home though for a few days which really sucked. I'm feeling better now though...still tired. I want to see him again. I can't help being so...attached. I just love being with him and everything so much. We need to makeup for the time I wasn't here...
 
 
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*jooleeah*
post Apr 12 2006, 02:20 PM
Post #2





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dear cb diary,
i hate it when i'm in this kind of mood.
i hate being f**king introspective. and i hate thinking about the damned past.
i hate feeling lonely. all the f**king time.

uhg.

you know, i finally realized why i've never had a serious boyfriend. it's because i'm too damned scared. scared that once he finds out that i'm not just that silly/friendly girl everyone thinks i am. scared that he's gonna find out that i'm just really a cold, mean, and bitchy girl on the inside. no boy could EVER prepare for that part of me. when i wish i just had someone to talk to, to be held, to be loved and all that shit, i realize that that's not reality. i don't think i'll ever find someone like that. it's seeming like it's impossible now.

sucks, doesn't it?
you know what else sucks?
pretending to be happy for someone else.
and you know what else?
these damned people keep on f**king bothering me to be "happy". i can't be happy if you're going to complain about how shitty i feel. i can't be happy if you keep on TRYING to f**king piss me off. i can't feel goddamned happy if you make fun of me. just shut the f**k up and leave me the f**k alone.

youknow, i look at all these girls at school when theyre passing by me through the hallways with their boyfriends. most of them are just whores and sluts [i use that word rarely] who go out with a different guy each day. what makes them so lovable? what makes them good enough to go out with? what makes them be good enough for their hands to be held, for the bodies to be hugged, for their boyfriends to say "i love you" to them each and every single day? am i just the kind of person who doesn't deserve that kind of stuff? am i not as lovable as they are? i'll admit it. i am jealous. but who wouldn't be when you're feelnig this damned lonely?

why can't i get that feeling where you like someone? i haven't liked someone in so long. what am i goddamned waiting for? nothing, i guess. i just don't find anyone i know around me interesting enough to like. no, it's not that. it's just..i don't like anyone. and it really sucks. AHSDKFHSDKHSDFKH.

i'm so bitter. it's terrible, isn't it?
whatever. i'm just ranting and being bitchy right now. i'll come back later.
 

Posts in this topic
stephinika   Createblog Diary   Mar 26 2006, 03:27 PM
lolita kitty   dear cb diary, yesterday was so fun. i wont type ...   Mar 26 2006, 03:53 PM
Phoenixx   Dear Cb Diary, Lately I have been very tired and...   Mar 26 2006, 03:57 PM
jooleeah   dear createblog diary, i hate knowing that i'l...   Mar 26 2006, 09:27 PM
Teesa   Dear CB Diary, So, not much has changed since my ...   Mar 27 2006, 01:58 AM
stephinika   Dear CB Diary, God I love him. I keep having funn...   Mar 29 2006, 01:19 PM
islandgirl4eva   Dear cB diary, I'm so happy that April is ri...   Mar 29 2006, 01:25 PM
xoxo_koala_kisses_   Dear CB Diary, SOMEBODY ASKED ME TO PROM.   Mar 29 2006, 04:22 PM
chaneun   Dear cB diary: I want to move out.. now. I don...   Mar 30 2006, 07:50 PM
x__Elle.   Dear cB Diary, My birthday's in five days. =)...   Mar 30 2006, 07:56 PM
stephinika   Dear cB diary, Not now. Not today. I did NOT need...   Mar 30 2006, 09:29 PM
tic tac.   Dear cB diary, So, today sucked. SHE was flirting...   Mar 30 2006, 09:44 PM
jooleeah   dear cb diary, no. i can't. i won't. but i...   Mar 30 2006, 09:51 PM
silver rain   Dear CB Diary, Meh. Today wasn't such a great...   Mar 30 2006, 10:21 PM
Angelina Taylor   Dear cb diary: I wish he cared.. I really do. Eve...   Apr 1 2006, 11:04 AM
Teesa   Dear CB Diary, This spring break flew by so fast ...   Apr 1 2006, 10:48 PM
jooleeah   Dear Createblog Diary, Legs ache. Tired. Sick of p...   Apr 1 2006, 11:42 PM
M1SSxCHR1SSY   Julia, I freaking love you. Talk to me if you feel...   Apr 2 2006, 03:43 PM
Flavored Condom   Dear CB diary, I'm using my brother's com...   Apr 3 2006, 06:44 PM
islandgirl4eva   Dear cB diary, It's April, and as sad as I ca...   Apr 4 2006, 11:03 AM
jooleeah   Chrissy, I love you more. Same to you if you'r...   Apr 4 2006, 07:57 PM
islandgirl4eva   Dear cB diary, I should be having the time of my ...   Apr 4 2006, 11:38 PM
stephinika   Dear cB diary, Why am I so constantly paranoid? W...   Apr 5 2006, 01:15 AM
lilxl0ser   dear cB, it's been awhile huh? well, nothing n...   Apr 6 2006, 08:46 PM
hello moto   dear cb diary, i know this feeling all too well. ...   Apr 8 2006, 02:15 AM
I own yourr face.   Dear cb Diary, I'm such a dork. I need to get...   Apr 8 2006, 02:41 AM
jooleeah   auntysandy: because boys suck. :[ the end. i love ...   Apr 8 2006, 11:32 AM
YoGrandpaIsFine   Dear cB Diary, Spring break! Anyway, the sch...   Apr 8 2006, 10:08 PM
jooleeah   dear cb diary, it amazes me how sometimes i spill ...   Apr 8 2006, 11:02 PM
M1SSxCHR1SSY   Dear cB Diary, Needless to say, I'm totally c...   Apr 9 2006, 02:34 AM
lolita kitty   Dear Cb Diary. I hate the feeling of being new to...   Apr 10 2006, 12:26 AM
rtc_nospeakenglish   While walking to Church today with my phony mother...   Apr 10 2006, 12:30 AM
lilxl0ser   dear cB, i'm a terrible person. no really i am...   Apr 10 2006, 10:08 PM
M1SSxCHR1SSY   Dear cB diary, I can't stop crying. Please, I...   Apr 10 2006, 11:17 PM
lolita kitty   Chrissy Ilu. Dear cb diary, I found this on mys...   Apr 10 2006, 11:57 PM
viola_winnie   Dear cB diary, i cant finish a simple step!ju...   Apr 11 2006, 05:46 AM
maryissa   Dear cB diary, Afaid. Suckness Spring Break Ever...   Apr 11 2006, 03:31 PM
jooleeah   dear cb diary, i hate it when i'm in this kind...   Apr 12 2006, 02:20 PM
Teesa   Dear CB Diary, Hello. I guess right now, I am doi...   Apr 12 2006, 05:46 PM
jooleeah   Dear Createblog Diary, So, yeah. I feel better now...   Apr 12 2006, 09:32 PM
viola_winnie   Dear Createblog Diary, i feel quite.........since...   Apr 12 2006, 10:25 PM
stephinika   Dear cB diary... Augh. I hate this. I'm the m...   Apr 13 2006, 03:45 PM
jennypie   dear cB diary, Last night was so, so, so amazing....   Apr 14 2006, 04:04 PM
lolita kitty   Dear cb diary, I can't f**king take this. My ...   Apr 16 2006, 01:08 AM
jooleeah   dear cb diary, i have no courage. haha. jose's...   Apr 16 2006, 02:44 PM
lilxl0ser   dear cB, as i find my world slowly rising to the p...   Apr 16 2006, 10:37 PM
jooleeah   dear cb diary, so i came home early today because ...   Apr 17 2006, 11:10 AM
mzkandi   Dear Cb, Today begins a new chapter of our lives....   Apr 17 2006, 02:08 PM
Zatanna   Dear cB, The recurring theme of my life lately is...   Apr 17 2006, 05:40 PM
jooleeah   Dear Createblog Diary, I am the most selfish perso...   Apr 17 2006, 10:07 PM
islandgirl4eva   Dear cB diary, I jumped to conclusions as I alway...   Apr 18 2006, 01:47 PM
M1SSxCHR1SSY   Naomi, I love you. Boys are stupid. I know you...   Apr 18 2006, 06:18 PM
stephinika   Dear cB diary, I really hate school sometimes. I ...   Apr 19 2006, 06:28 PM
islandgirl4eva   Dear cB diary, I've made up my mind. I have t...   Apr 20 2006, 05:33 PM
jooleeah   Dear Createblog Diary, I'm empty. Hmmmmm.   Apr 20 2006, 07:43 PM
M1SSxCHR1SSY   Dear cB Diary, What the hell am I doing? UGH. Wha...   Apr 21 2006, 07:22 PM
jooleeah   Dear Createblog Diary, This is pathetic. I'm p...   Apr 21 2006, 07:26 PM
stephinika   Dear cB diary, Why? Why does this all have to hap...   Apr 21 2006, 08:41 PM
islandgirl4eva   Dear cB diary, After a good cry last night (darn ...   Apr 22 2006, 03:26 PM
jooleeah   Dear cB diary, I know, that by the end of this wee...   Apr 24 2006, 03:37 PM
helllla jankyyyy   Dear cB diary, its been a while huh? well i have ...   Apr 24 2006, 05:51 PM
Intoxique   Dear cB Diary, I wanna break down & cry. I ca...   Apr 24 2006, 07:54 PM
jooleeah   dear cb diary, i am so tired of getting the f**kin...   Apr 25 2006, 09:56 PM
Days Nearly Over   cbdiary, I hate this feeling of emptiness. I real...   Apr 26 2006, 06:59 PM
elainedcuzunome   dear cb diary, why did that b*tch end up with hi...   Apr 26 2006, 10:39 PM
Kathleen   Dear cB diary, NO ONE READ "ALTRUISM" AN...   Apr 27 2006, 10:17 PM
islandgirl4eva   ^^ The writing forum is a lot more inactive now. ...   Apr 28 2006, 12:48 AM
lolita kitty   Dear cb diary. Good day. bad afternoon. I started...   Apr 28 2006, 03:33 PM
jooleeah   dear cb diary, there must be something seriously w...   Apr 29 2006, 08:02 PM
islandgirl4eva   Dear cB diary, This is going to sound so superfic...   Apr 30 2006, 11:58 PM
M1SSxCHR1SSY   Julia, Naomi Dear createBlog Diary, Want to kn...   May 1 2006, 02:19 AM
elainedcuzunome   Dear cB Diary, this year has been cruel to me. i ...   May 1 2006, 03:43 PM
Days Nearly Over   dear cbdiary... i am not sure but... i think i a...   May 2 2006, 09:44 PM
priyas   Dear CB Diary, Today we talked. It was so awesome...   May 2 2006, 10:49 PM
stephinika   Dear cB diary, I'm so sick of just about ever...   May 2 2006, 11:42 PM
elainedcuzunome   Dear cB diary, today was one of the worst days of...   May 3 2006, 02:12 PM
priyas   Dear CB Diary, So much drama in 1 school day. I f...   May 3 2006, 07:52 PM
Statues/Shadows   I AM SO motherf**king SICK OF HEARING ABOUT PROM ...   May 4 2006, 03:41 PM
stephinika   Dear cB diary, So today was pretty effed up. It s...   May 4 2006, 06:38 PM
emazing   Dear cB diary, Eee. I keep on procrastinating ab...   May 5 2006, 11:54 AM
jooleeah   thanks chrissy dear cb diary, i feel uneasy. lik...   May 5 2006, 05:01 PM
priyas   I AM IN LOVE. END OF STORY.   May 6 2006, 12:55 AM
stephinika   Dear cB diary... Why is it whenever I have a good...   May 6 2006, 01:41 AM
helllla jankyyyy   ^ Feel better n remember you can talk to me. Dear...   May 6 2006, 02:06 AM
silver rain   Dear cb Diary, Blah, there's only about 26 mo...   May 6 2006, 12:14 PM
stephinika   Thanks Lo. Dear cB diary... I'm feeling bet...   May 6 2006, 01:28 PM
YoGrandpaIsFine   Dear cB Diary, One more month. :\ I don...   May 6 2006, 10:30 PM
Teesa   Dear CB Diary, Well, this is the home stretch. Fi...   May 6 2006, 10:55 PM
jooleeah   Dear Createblog Diary, It's sad when I need so...   May 6 2006, 11:05 PM
islandgirl4eva   ^^ Julia, love...it's because people are idiot...   May 6 2006, 11:29 PM
dancingkait   dear cb diary so he came over last night and we h...   May 7 2006, 01:19 PM
waccoon   I loooove Christa.   May 7 2006, 01:20 PM
marzipan   QUOTE(waccoon @ May 7 2006, 1:20 PM) I lo...   May 7 2006, 01:21 PM
waccoon   QUOTE(marzipan @ May 7 2006, 2:21 PM) ......   May 7 2006, 01:23 PM
marzipan   QUOTE(waccoon @ May 7 2006, 1:23 PM) Um w...   May 7 2006, 01:24 PM
tainted_angel   Dear cB Diary, Well, he's here. He came home ...   May 7 2006, 01:36 PM
oX_Muh_Nirvana_Xo   Dear Cb Diary, These past few days with h...   May 7 2006, 02:54 PM
lilxl0ser   dear cB, i'm tired. eeeks! i'm just ti...   May 7 2006, 08:55 PM
jooleeah   Naomi, I know. :[ I hate it when people like them ...   May 7 2006, 10:21 PM
islandgirl4eva   Dear cB diary, I find that cleaning makes me happ...   May 9 2006, 02:15 PM
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